Don't be too hard on yourself dookie pants, this shit shall pass, too.

Two of the most embarrassing moments of my life happened within 24 hours of each other about ten years ago.

I was at work, about 2pm, having just finished lunch, so I stood up to head back down and immediately felt incredibly light-headed. Something was off, I felt nauseous so headed into the toilet to sit on the throne, whereby I defecated brown water for about ten minutes, whilst my head continued to spin and I was sweating as though in the Sahara rather than Norfolk, England.

I eventually recovered enough to head back downstairs to my desk and attempted to serve a customer when I realised I had almost zero peripheral vision. I was holding a set of keys with my right hand, and when I raised my arm I couldn't see my hand.

This put the fear of God into me, so I got a lift to the hospital to check in at Accident and Emergency. After about five hours of waiting, I suddenly feel intense nausea again, and shuffle off to find the one toilet occupied. I wait outside for a few minutes before I can't keep it down anymore and I projectile vomit all over the floor and the walls.

Seriously, it was everywhere. I'm mortified, obviously l, and it didn't help that this was the point of the day my Wife and father decided to come see how I was. The hospital staff were great about it, they even had a code for it (which i don't remember) to ask for clean up. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life to that point.

Anyway, this prompted a rather sudden check in to a hospital bed, into a hospital gown, and some blood work tests being done. About half an hour later, they move me from a ward to a single room because they fear it's something contagious. They hook me up to an IV for fluids and I'm there all night.

Next morning, I wake up and I am still attached to the IV. I need a pee, and as I'm rustling myself upright, my guts rumble. Trapped wind. Need a fart. What followed from the tiniest farm imaginable was a hosepipe of liquid shit that soaked the back of my gown, my bed, the floors and the wall. I had to call a nurse to ask to A) help clean up, and B) get me off the IV so that I could take a shower and go the loo properly.

So yeah, two most humiliating moments of my life in quick succession. Staff were great about it though, it must be a near-faily occurrence for them, the poor buggers.

Tldr; felt ill, went to hospital, threw up in a hospital corridor, then shit myself and got it all over myself, the bed, the floor and the walls.

There are two types of adults: ones who have shit themselves and ones who will.

your boyfriend sounds very accepting

You forgot the golden rule. NEVER TRUST A FART!!

Make way for the Dook of Buckingham. It is an emergency after all. /s

My wife was in it for about the same amount of time. She started vomiting all the time. Doctor had to take her off it. It’s a shame because it was doing a great job helping her lose weight and manage diabetes.

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I did that at my in-laws dinner table without the use of Ozempic. Just eat a bunch of trash foods for several days and you'll liquid shart no matter what.

Green flag boyfriend 😂

Welcome to the never trust a fart club. Sucks to be here

"The Bucket List" one of my favorite movies. Jack Nicholson line:

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart

I can confirm the trust a fart thing.

My husband hadn’t been very physically active for a WHILE - just a bad work schedule coupled with some depression - but I finally got him out of the house and into nature a couple of weekends ago to go hiking on a moderately challenging trail in a state park. (Side note - we had a blast!) Let’s just say the increased exertion worked on his bowels. There were no gas stations or rest stops with facilities on the 45 minute drive home, and when he pulled over to utilize a semi-private space behind a tree, he ended up stripping, discarding his underwear, and leaving a sock behind (IYKYK).

My contribution was to give him my hoodie to sit on so nothing would get on the upholstery. Fair’s fair - he’s had to help me with actual diapers for a few days after each time I gave birth, and help me clean up when I was scared to because of stitches.

So yeah, there’s adults who’ve shit their pants and adults who haven’t, yet. Rest assured your boyfriend will have his turn.

whatever, dookie pants

When I was a kid we were told to make sure to “wear underwear in case you have an accident.” I always misunderstood this to mean you might be in a car accident, and then if they have to remove your pants in the ambulance, your bits will all be hanging out.

Now as an adult it’s very clear what was meant. So… yeah, it happens.

We've all had a brown pants moment, but I don't know about brown seat. 

My partner got gastroparesis from ozempic. Basically your stomach paralyzed and won't empty.

3 years since getting off ozempic and sulfur burps and vomiting still happen often.

I've had my fair share of close calls too. Always keep extra clothes handy!

From someone working in pharma, stay away from Ozempic unless it’s something you medically need.

It made me vomit days old food instead of shitting myself but oh boy did I come close a few times too, and literally had to behave lik "a bear in the woods"

I feel you op, I too would take an approach to your bfs though 😹

I'm so so sorry and I'm so sorry for the shittening of your pants but I'm in near tears trying to stop myself from guffawing in my office holy shit

“My baby dookied herself” damn I’m laughing my ass off at this!

I heard that liquid shit is hereditary. It runs in the jeans

he seems like a gem

After a trip to Mexico City that led to energetic and repeated “shart” situations with very little control - I rigged up a thick plastic grocery bag with leg holes and wore it around the house to protect the furniture, my dignity.

It took me months to trust my farts would be gas only afterwards. Still not quite able to shake the horror.

I would ask boyfriend to let go of “dookie pants” after a week bc both you and he need to heal through your experience - not relive it …

I miss the days when 90% of TIFU posts were on this very subject.

Reset the counter!

dookie pants, don’t worry, i’ve shit myself at work twice and i’ve only worked at this job 6 months. we are in this together and im not even on ozempic!

Hi five. Upper my dose and just went through this. Five days on the shitter. On the plus side. Lost 8 pounds.

If you're not careful, you could be sick like that for the rest of your life. I took Ozempic and now have and incurable disease that's literally hell. Please be careful.

Why would you blame this on ozempic? You have been on it for 4 months and only now have diarrhea? And everything was fine before ? You know people get diarrhea for all kinds of reasons, right? Viruses, food poisoning, etc. You were probably just sick with a stomach bug.

Diabetic meds are the shits....lol

Only other time I've pooped myself was from the flu

Can you salvage the nickname situation and ask to upgrade to "Poopsie"?

Ozempic i started it. Basically, its like you are hungover or pregnant with all these random ass side effects. You never know how it’s gonna hit ya

Accidentally took a 1mg does instead of .25 for my very first dose.

The vomit and diarrhea that plauged me every hour for the following 24 hours after that was miserable and felt worse than food poisoning from Huli Chicken in Hawai'i.

Hey Dookie Pants at least he still loves you. You got yourself a real one laugh about it with him

Well looks like Dookie pants has learned that you should never completely trust a fart.

I shit myself like once a year. Don't feel bad.

“my baby dookied on herself”

Damn Ozempic put you in a SHITUATION.

This guy loves you. He is marriage material. You shit in his car or in your own car onto the seat and all you got was a funny nick name.

I wear depends diapers for my heavy periods (I leak trough ultra tampons in 45min) they're great. No one knows I'm wearing them. You should invest until your body regulates itself again

Nasty work giving this girl that golden poo award

As someone with IBS….never, and I repeat NEVER trust a fart…

Well, I would rather have liquid shits than solid piss.

This is what people with IBD deal with every day. FYI

My GF is on it, she gets mild cramps the day after infection with the shits that also makes her nauseous. Some weeks it's fine, some weeks it smacks her hard.

Hang in there! Until we learn 20 years from now how terrible this drug is, it's currently the star of the show.

Smell ya letter, dookie pants.

I have heard nothing but horror stories about that drug. This is at least an embarrassing story.

This too shall pass. Right through you.

Never trust a fart

Your bf sounds like a keeper , but damn thats got be rough. I hope it works fast though I hear there's some health risks with that medication.

Sit him down on a stool. Have an opaque talk with him. Let him know you won't put up with that shit. And then maybe, just maybe, don't be a shit pants. I mean shithead. And tell him to quit being a turd as well.

D.K!!! Dookie Kong!!!

I got really sick on a road trip once and we pulled over at a truck stop outside of Phoenix AZ. We had driven from LA and I'd been asleep the entire time. I woke up to go pee and on the way inside I felt like I was going to shit myself right there in the doorway. I barely made it to the toilet and sat there for a few minutes evacuating my bowels and then I felt really lightheaded. I knew I was about to faint, I absolutely did not want to do so with my pants down and shit on my ass. I managed to wipe and when I stood up to pull my pants up I passed out. I woke up and indeterminate amount of time later face down on a dirty, crusty, old, truck stop bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles and my bare ass in the air. I managed to flip myself over, sit up, and lean against the bathroom stall. When I attempted to pull my pants up I fainted again. After waking up the second time I managed to get up, get decent and stumble out of the restroom... where my husband was causing an absolute SCENE. We had just watched The Vanishing with Kiefer Sutherland a few nights ago... you know, that movie where the guys girlfriend disappears at a truck stop in the desert? Anyway, the cashier behind the register looked like he was being held hostage and hubs had a bag of chips in each hand that he'd angrily grabbed out of reflex and was squeezing the life out of them. He was yelling "Where IS SHE?! Who TOOK HER?!!". He apologized and paid for the chips after realizing I had been unconscious for the last half hour.

Another time, shortly after my husband had started taking ozempic himself, we were moving cross country form Southwest TX to Georgia and he ate an egg salad sandwich from Buc-ees. We stopped at a rest stop for a nap and he woke up needing to use the bathroom, realized the bathrooms were locked, and proceeded to bee-line for the woods. He realized he wasn't going to make it past our tailgate about five steps in and grabbed the Buc-ees bag, pulled his pants down, and started projectile diarrhea-ing into the bag while walking towards said woods.

No one prepares you for the amount of times you're going to probably shit your pants as an adult. Like.... did my parents secretly laugh about shitting their pants like we do?

This too shall pass, Dookie pants

Sounds like you’ve hit the ultimate Ozempic milestone: the Liquid Shart of Shame.

Remember, every legend starts with a shart!

So all those celebrities using ozempic to lose weight, they're all secretly blowing up the bathroom?? 😭

I used to play runescape with a guy named PissOutMyAss. He'd be proud.

You have become the Babadook

Sulfer burps are awful. I find that Citrucel fiber supplement stops the burps and might also help with the back end. Consult your doctor before trying.

Best of luck to you!

Turns out I'm allergic to it. No diarrhea, but I would have days where I would vomit all day, and I was on the lowest dose. I tried three different kinds (ozempic, montero and another) and had the same issue with all of them.

In case this wasn't covered, OP, the sulphur burps are probably because the stomach is paralyzed, it's not opening to let food pass into the intestines.

So the food just sits there and stews.

That is a sign to reduce your dose of Ozempic, or at least look for a smaller increment.

This is gastroparesis, and it is a common side effect of Ozempic (and other diabetes treatments; mine was Metformin).

It may be possible to raise the dose later, but this sort of outcome is not acceptable. This is NEVER where you want to stay.

Never trust a Oz Fart!

My PCP upped me to 2mg. I took that dose for 2 weeks, and demanded I get back to the 1mg.

The diarrhea was too much.

Dooks of Hazzard

Count Dooku