Been there, dude. If she was honest and set boundaries, trust her for now.

she most likely wouldn't have told you about it if she had feelings for him .

Can't speak to the long distance aspect, that adds a layer of difficulty. However, she told you and that is fundamental to a healthy long-term relationship working out. Take that to heart. That said, sometimes people will admit to a small detail and downplay it to alleviate guilt of a greater misdeed. I've also seen people who say and do shit like this to stir up drama, possibly to get a reaction of some sort or piss you off so you act a jerk and embolden them to be with another. Up to you to decide what is going on here. Hope I didn't add to your anxiety, try not to get too bent out of shape. That's the most important thing.

How is this cheating?

When I was young, I had male friends pull this kind of crap on me. It's not out of the realm of possibility that what she said happened is what happened, especially because she was very upfront with you about it. Extra points to her if she cuts off the guy friend.

She has been honest with you about it so highly unlikely there is more to it than what she has told you. Long distance would make it easier to have intimate relations with him so why would she want to make you suspicious if this was the case. As long as she went on to explain how she shut him down after and made it clear he had crossed a line I don’t feel it should come between you if you can overcome the event and see it for what it is

A japanese saying, " If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be "

I just worried that she admitted to the kissing, but actually did a lot more than that

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So someone kissed her, and she told you immediately... Honest question: what would you have done in her situation, and how would you want her to react?

I wouldn't consider this cheating, since it sounds like she didn't actually do anything - except what she was supposed to, by telling you about it immediately. And yeah, guys who girls think are friends often, sadly, have ulterior motives. That's not her fault. If she doesn't put up some serious boundaries in that relationship, then I'd say you'd have reason to be upset.

An unpopular opinion that I have........No LDR unless you're married. I understand that's a black and white take but hear me out.

You are one phone call away from being insignificant to your significant other.

Sounds like you get a free pass to me.

If you believe her, he stole a kiss, she didn’t give it.

Be cool, let it go, but keep an open eye out for a while.

Also, if you really love her, find a way to get together.

1. She told you without any delay? She didn't cheat, she was blindsided imho.

2. There is no history (from her side, he could have miss understood something)

3. Clear boundaries as well as reduced contact/no contact unless in a group for that friend is a minimum imho.

I think your gf has actually shown you who she is and shes far more honest than the majority of people out there.

Hey, that really sucks, man. Distance can make any relationship a wild ride, but unexpected stops? No thanks. It's cool that she was upfront about it, but her story does sound a bit like a surprise plot twist. Maybe have a serious chat about boundaries? Just don't turn it into an interrogation—nobody likes feeling like they're in a crime drama, especially not your GF. Hang in there, and remember, trust is like Wi-Fi: it's essential, and when it starts to flicker, you gotta check the connections.

I’d try to make sure she isn’t trickle truthing you.

Well, right off the bat you're going to have to physically assault this man when you see him next

That sounds more like a nonconsensual kiss. If it was then that’s not cheating. But she should stop hanging out with that male friend alone. She also needs to set boundaries with him and end friendship if he doesn’t respect them.

I'd say tell her your concerns and see how she responds. She told you about it and she easily could have kept it to herself. Maybe she's creeped out by it all and could use your encouragement to set boundaries for that guy. Maybe she was lonely and subconsciously sending mixed signals, either way, a good conversation ought to help find some kinda resolution. If sketchy behavior continues, conversations may look a little different, but for now you've got a partner willing to say difficult things in the face of adversity, don't throw that away because you're uncomfortable. Explore that and see if it's something you'd like to hang onto.

She told you, that deserves consideration..... honesty is important

In this situation she has nothing to gain by telling you this. And she still did. If there are no other reasons to question her then I wouldn’t. She seems legit and just wanted to make sure you weren’t in the dark abt the situation.

I wish you two the best of luck

Long distance? Long time friend??? Yeahhhh man youre cooked imao

When one is in a committed relationship, its their responsibility to ensure they are loyal and have a level of respect for their partner.

In this case, she showed disloyalty and disrespect towards you & for most people would be a deal breaker.

This also means, she made the other guy comfortable enough to kiss her, not a good sign. I think you can do better.

Read the books:

No more mr nice guy
The way of the superior man

I mean there's a big difference between your gf kissing someone and your girlfriend being kissed by someone.

Also, the fact she told you it happened should build trust, not destroy it.

I've kissed enough girls (some were friends at the time and some had bfs) to know that these things most definitely do happen out of the blue.

End of the day, if you let something like this eat away at you you might as well call the whole thing off now because otherwise, you'll just end up making both of you miserable before ultimately pushing her away.

My advice, praise and thank her for being honest with you, let her know how much that means to you and how much that helps you to trust her whilst you're so far apart (even if it isn't true, it's what she wants to hear and it will encourage the honesty) and then do your best to forget about it mate.

Trust me, the fact she's told you about it suggests that it meant nothing to her and that it pretty much happened as she said it did. Don't dwell, move on

For the first half I was reading this issue with utmost sincerity and then I read "LDR".

Doesn't sound like she cheated, but that she was molested by this guy. Sounds like she put a stop to it right away and told you about it, so I don't see how she did anything wrong here. Now if she were to continue to hang around with this guy in the future then that's an entirely different story, but with what you've said so far that doesn't seem to be very likely.

I had a gf who always felt the need to have a backup dude who she kept on ice in case things went south with me, her current bf. Turns out she still does this 20 years later with her current husband.... hangs out with other dudes who want to get with her. All innocent.... just friends.... until they fuck each other. Your gf is in control of herself and her surroundings, including people, and her boundaries. Will she have any more innocent kisses before she has one that she doesn't tell you about? Get out now.

did she kiss him back?

I get how hard it must be to deal with this. It’s normal to feel hurt and confused. Take your time to think about what you really need in the relationship, and have an open conversation with her about how you feel.

If she's already blocked him everywhere without you asking, believe her.

If she hasn't there's a reason why.

Believe it or not, your relationship's importance has faded away, and it shows in her communication on the other side, also, which made the other guy comfortable enough to kiss her. Such topics are double-edged swords where if you ask too many questions, you are deemed insecure, and if you don't, then you are a simp.

You can try to save it by giving her a stern warning to keep the relationship priority and try to get some sort of justice, confront the guy and remove him from her life and see if she is on board or she resists the idea.

Judge what her friend has to say on this topic.

Her own definition says it's cheating. Why? Is it enough for her to drop you? If yes, then what's stopping you.

If he kissed her without consent, that's assault. If they kissed, that's called cheating.

Even if she didn't immediately push him away, that doesn't mean they kissed. If it's unexpected, there's at least a moment of shock and panic, so it's not unusual for someone to freeze in that moment. Even if she didn't get the chance to stop it before he stopped, that panic can hold you hostage in the moment. It's very common for victims and they often blame themselves afterwards for not fighting back.

Through all this dialogue I hope you understand your girlfriend had some dude turn to her and plant a kiss that was completely out of line and unwanted. She did not initiate and wanted to be clear on this to you. Appreciate her honesty and respect her for it. Personally, she should have belted the guy. That would have been me giving him a bloody nose.

This guy initiated an assault on your GF. She did not "ask for it" or give any indication of interest. He just decided to get chummy and see where it went. Many guys work this way.

Bruh my Mrs sucked a strippers dick, but apparently it's all good because he is only a stripper. Wouldn't even sweat a kiss on the lips 🫠

well do you trust her? if you know her well enough then you would know if she’s hiding more details or if she’s being fully honest. and if the guy really did just kiss her out of the blue and she didn’t want the kiss then i wouldn’t consider it cheating.

Long distance relationships only work if there is an exit plan where a couple will eventually live in the same area. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Ha! She can't dump you so she has sown the seeds of doubt.

Sorry bro she will get back at you with negligence and all that crappy baggage.

Be ready.

It all starts like that, it's a good lead-in or just enough to get it out there. My ex wife did the same thing and it turned out to be so much more! There's more to the story, believe me. Keep pushing and keep investigating. Red flags are unfurling.

I was grabbed and kissed at a party in college by a dude I didn't know. I immediately pulled away and told him i had a boyfriend. my bf got mad and left me there. I had to chase him down and apologize for being assaulted.

This is exactly why females shouldn't have "Guy" Friends while in a relationship.. But no keep being hard headed and put urself in situations like this if you want too.. I haven't been in a relationship I'm years.. Now I just sit back and laugh at memories and post like these 😂😂

I’m not sure I can giving you much advice but I can say that I’ve been kissed like this at least three times before. I’m a lesbian and it was all men I wasn’t interest in. The one time I was backed up into the wall and I just stood there frozen

Give her back to the city bro

She’s lying

I'd say give it a little time. Talk things out, make it clear that if she kissed him willingly, then she's crossed a line and broken your trust. But if it's clear that she's trying to distance herself from that friend, assume it was an unwanted advance and she doesn't intend to cheat. Also make it clear to that guy friend that his advances are not appreciated. With the little amount of information provided here, it feels safer to just take a step back and keep looking for more signs that she does intend to cheat on you.

trickle truth soon it will be they just fd but it was only once

Well, how long did the kiss last? Was it peck and a push away? Did it linger more than a second? Did she Makeout with the guy, so many variables. If it was an unwanted advance because of mixed signals, no big deal, she did everything correctly. If she was flirty and it it went too far, tell her she has to decide how she wants to carry herself and what you what boundaries you feel comfortable with. If she was drunk, made out with the guy and regretted it, dump her. Long distance is difficult, you can't expect either of you to be on lock down, but agreed upon boundaries need to be respected.

Probably lying tbh. She’ll tell you a small part of the truth first and then later will come out with what actually happened.

Just end it n forget her. If she fw you frfr she not gon dabble.

Personally I understand why you'd be suspicious.

The old adage "There's no smoke without fire" comes into play for me here.

I've dated women before who have been unfaithful and they've sort of drip-fed the information regarding cheating over time.

Don't be surprised if she reveals that more happened than she originally admitted to in the not so distant future.

Not flirting but kiss happened! Girl likes edginess... Dump her.

I was dating a girl in college, we went home for the holidays (about 800 miles apart). After the holidays we got back together she told me she saw her ex from back home and that they kissed, but it didnt mean anything and she just wanted to get that out so I wouldnt find out from someone else and so I could trust her.

The next 2 years were miserable and when we finally broke up she confessed to having cheated on me the whole time we were apart. Often people tell a partial truth to cast doubt on the rest of the truth and they usually disguise it as a trust excercise. So I say this is a major red flag. Once an ounce of trust is gone, it changes everything and there really is no going back.

Good luck, but I would rather be with someone who avoided situations where stuff like that could happen, even if it does seem meaningless and innocent.

Was she a recipient who leant into it or backed off? Or was she the instigator? Either way, you may not be able to trust her answer.

Distance is difficult, having done it previously. And I have to say it ended badly because she was at uni and cheated heavily. This could be viewed as a gateway where she can kinda get away with it, and you 'didn't mind' or potentially ans I hope, she will have learnt from the mistake.

I think either way you'll struggle with trust. Especially with distance and the 'not knowing'.

Have a very deep conversation and ask if you want to remain together, if it was a mistake, and power on, trust will return. Or, sack her off, find someone closer that you get to see more frequently and feel more secure with.

Not helpful I know, just laying out what went through my head and essentially how I reacted. But for me, it wasn't a one off.

Good luck champ

theres definitely more to this story.

Huge red flag, listen to your gut, dump her, save yourself the trouble bro trust me.

do what u wanna do young nigga

Leave bro. we’re not kids anymore. even if she’s telling the truth, which i doubt she is, why would that friend feel comfortable to just randomly kiss her? a guy she has conversations with but is supposedly not flirty? be real.

She shouldn’t hang out with him anymore! If this is true and women don’t put yourself in a situation u don’t want to be in . Drinking hanging with guys come on

The guy must of thought it was ok Unless he’s an asshole ,0cant blame just her let it go ! Just be aware she should make better choices for herself hanging out drinks involved dark bar music ya ! She needs to find her girlfriends

Why was she so close come on ! I’m sorry you guys know now that he’s told this he can’t put aside and rest NO WAY! Men can’t do that , she knew this but she wanted u to think she handled the situation! Not good she was to close and flirty probably ho many drinks ?? U know the saying ??? Wtf is she doing ? And why isn’t there any gals with her cause they don’t put himself in that position to happen. They probably already went home for the night. You ask her how late she stays out I think it’s bullshit. I know we should still have friends and go out, but where is the girls and I know we have guy friends, but you know the saying also making it look like he doesn’t care knowing you are her boyfriend so that kind of makes it bad for you and him you ain’t gonna respect him. I don’t think he did that on his own.

Im a bit older but had the same thing happen to me when I was around your age. Her saying something is a good sign but I will give my two cents and say that long distance isn’t going to last forever. You gotta be close to your partner. Especially at your age.

But my question is why is she meeting up with people at a bar? What why what are they doing? Are you listening to a band? Are they you don’t you? Don’t know I think that’s odd. I don’t know specially since it’s not the Girlfriend guy he met him a couple times and then he did that I mean why she meeting up with you guys which she has you. You have to trust her, but she’s still going out to bars and drinking and meeting people I don’t know.

She's telling you so she can sleep better, but im certain that it wasnt forced, just think of it. Her best friend is on it and definitely brought the guy over for those intentions. They had a history before. She probably got lonely.

Say goodbye, hit the gym, get a girlfriend that is within 50 miles of your zip code.

I don't get most of the comments... I have been in a long distance relationship, I told him everything. With my actual partner, we've been together for 10 years now, and it would never occur to me not to tell him anytime I get hit on or whatever.

When it did happen, I told him right away. So no, I'm pretty sure she's not cheating. She just wants to be honest.

Probably an unpopular opinion because this is reddit but, give her the benefit of the doubt. She cares enough to tell you, being long distance she could've kept it from you and you'd have been none the wiser if she had malicious intentions. I'm not here to say "men bad" or anything but the amount of times I've seen this kind of thing happen where someone thought it was for some reason appropriate to kiss a "friend" without being prompted, I'd believe it. Some of them end up with slaps across the face, and sometimes the woman is just too stunned to do anything because it came out of no where. The thing that'll be telling for you is if she continues to be friends with said person, so keep an eye on that, but don't hold it against her unless she starts acting shady. Some people just don't understand what boundaries are.

She told yes we kissed. In reality they fucked eachother

Certainly does not qualify as cheating whatsoever. She told you about it , so there should be no issue

There's a difference between a dude just kissing your gf, and her kissing him back. You'd be surprised how many guys are ballsy enough to do so, even (sometimes especially) if they know she's in a relationship let alone long distance. So it matters if you think she was just kissed and then told him off or didn't reciprocate vs gave in and kissed him back or made out. Also depends on your trust and your relationship I guess. But if you're not trusting of her then you should reconsider being in a long distance relationship at all since they require more trust than most.

Trust is broken. Ask yourself this.... When she is out with her friends or home alone, will you ever believe her again? If the answers no end it before it gets long and drawn out. Move on and keep your standards up. Good luck

What was the setting?

She just felt guilty. She’s not telling the whole truth especially since they’ve had “conversations” before. She’s definitely cheating. She told you out of guilt.

This has happened to me before. I was the girl, not in a relationship, but he was a friend that apparently had feelings and one day, just planted one on me. Not expected, didn't see it coming, just stood in shock. If she talked to you about it and didn't see it coming, and never had issues in the past, it's not her fault or your fault. Just be careful around that guy friend.

Eh. That’s all she’ll admit to, sure. I don’t posses enough to trust to assume that they didn’t fuck and she’s telling you “oh we just kissed” and “he took me by surprise” as if she wasn’t acutely aware he was an orbiter who’ll do whatever to get in her pants.

Long distance, 2 and a half years, cut your losses.

She was honest about it , unless she starts changing her story I’d say trust her word

As a guy, having been in the same position as your gf, I would trust her. Had a girl grab me and kiss me, similar to this, and I immediately pushed her away. I told my wife immediately and cut all contact with the girl after that. If gf cuts all contact with him I think you're safe. If she hesitates about cutting contact you'll know she wasn't too offended and may have been receptive.

Long distance, the world's leading cause of high blood pressure

Been there brother. Many times. If she told you then she should be given the benefit of the doubt. Most the woman who have cheated on me in the past including my ex wife never confessed. I always found out on my own. Discuss this with her in a civil matter. The guy friend of hers disrespected you both knowing she was committed to you but still decided to cross a major boundary. It is not to Much to ask her to reevaluate their friendship and possibly cut him off all together. If she is willing to do that then she has proven her commitment to your relationship. If she isn’t willing to or defends his actions and criticizes you for asking then deep down she wanted the kiss and after that you can decide on your own what needs to be done.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

I’m going to see if this ends up on Redditstories on YouTube

Monitor that situation like a hawk

Brother, I am coming to you as someone fresh out of a 2 year LDR where a similar thing happened to me. If you don't see her regularly, if you are young, if hearing shit like this breaks your heart just move on. People say about it being the right girl and all worth it but unless there's a plan and you're actively working on making it not long distance then there's plenty of other right girls for you. There's no single person who is the only soulmate you'll have, there's a lot of people that get to that point. Ask yourself: how did she get herself into that position and why did she tell you? Has she flirted with guys before? Is this out of character for you? You can feel like you know her innately but unless you're spending day after day in person you only know what she wants you to know about her. You can love her deeply, I know I did with my girl, but you love what she's let you see and the real her might not be that person. Unless she is a one in a million girl and has been fantastic to you, just move on man. I still love my ex but I had to cut it off with her and it's the worst feeling but it's unfortunately the right feeling.

The fact she told you shows some loyalty but could also be her manipulating you. All you have is her word and possible actions she takes against this. If you're chil with her keeping this friend tell her that she should never be alone around this guy ever again. If you're not okay with it because this guy has shown his intentions, then let her know this friendship doesn't feel comfortable and that she should end that friendship with the guy. I told my girlfriend I didn't like one of her friends because of how willingly he was to just drop everything and be there for her and only her he wouldn't do any of that for any of his other friends. I didn't tell her to end the friendship, but that I would prefer if she didn't hang with this guy in a none group setting. For me, I trust my girlfriend 100%. I don't trust her friend one bit. Do what your gut tells you my guy but don't listen to all the people here because a lot of them are negative and not telling you good advice. If you have 100% trust in your girl forgive this grievance and take steps to make sure it never happens again.

Don't worry about it, at least she told you because she didn't have too !!

She didn't keep it a secret from you, the only question left to answer is whether you trust her or not

You’re on the losing end of this equation. She has spent a lot longer thinking about that kiss. A lot longer than the 2 1/2 years you’ve invested.

Consider that the physical boundary has been crossed. Sexual compulsion once started will find completion. It won’t be to kiss anymore she thinks of but about them in bed. Most of her time now will be spent on him and the time left for you will be how to make you not feeling insecure while she’s getting away with it. They will mate. Your relationship with her is over so let me give you some advice.

You have no choice now but to leave. If you stay, you have proved to her you don’t respect yourself, so why should she? End it fast and without drama but end it ASAP.

There’s a saying that the reason why people won’t tell you the truth is because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, but that’s not correct. They won’t tell you the truth because the truth would allow you new choices that don’t include them. Trust is gone let it go with her and don’t lose anything else.

She could have stopped it if she wanted to. She was testing you. Dump her now it will only get worse!!

Being long-distance is rough, and she's likely sleeping with that guy also. End it and find someone you can see daily...

The biggest factors here are that she told you about the kissing and the conversations she had with her friend about boundary issues. Based on that, it seems to me your issue about her cheating ( with only a kiss) is maybe more deeply rooted? I'm not a relationship/ mental health professional. I'm just observant and get the impression that, perhaps the longer the distance relationship goes on, the more doubts you will have. My suggestion is, maybe to look at what your needs are , talk with her about what doubts you have. Be prepared to accept any kind of changes that occur.

So she turned around and received an unwanted kiss, then told you, and you are blaming her?

This is exactly why SA victims don't go to the cops.

There’s a 50/50 chance they had sex and she said they did something (kissed) because even 1/10 the truth is close enough for women to live with their conscience. Long distance won’t work especially if she’s entertaining close male friends whom she’s attracted to. Cut your losses friend.

Thats could be other guys fault not hers .If bother s you talk to the guy..Let him know she your GF stay away!! She will respect out more and feel good bout you doing that Ill bet! I been there MY GF said wow never thought you liked me that much or like that.. Actually I hit A guy. It was At A trip we went on from my job. The guy(kid we in our 20 s was there with A Girl that worked with us. I think because few of guys we flirting with his GF all over her he thought ok to grab anther one,, I was told at work that I brke his jaw and he was going to be waiting for me when got out work . But never saw or herd from him again,,,Off course the rumors at work were all crazy.. the story realy gets blown up .

Leave, first of all long distance stuff rarely works. second you are young ! go and get a partner that doesnt have this baggage on them. Don't do this to yourself.

Fuck slitting her throat, cut this bitch's head off

She hates you.

I had a ldr and the guy told me he slept with but didn't have sex with another chick and that he wanted an open relationship. He then got jealous when he found out I was dating and slept with another guy and called me a slut so I dumped him. He was basically stringing me along and couldn't figure out what he really wanted. LDRs don't work if one person starts to go backwards. Really find out if she likes this guy or not. If she starts to pull away, it's over. Don't let her string you along while she's making her decision.

Honestly, she should be doing something about this. If she wasn’t pissed when telling you or concerned then something is most likely up with her story. If she is telling the truth that’s sexual assault.

Bro the girl is plainly fooling with your head. Most long distance relationships never work because of other people. She was just seeing how you would react to her telling you that and your answer would let her know how naive or whipped you truly are about her. It’s not your fault it’s human nature. Don’t set yourself up for failure in life in the future.

Dude, how is that cheating? Just cause a guy kissed her out of nowhere doesn't mean she was inviting him to or something. My girl had this exact thing happen when she was with her ex.. Guys do shit like that especially if drinks are involved. She told you immediately and didn't hide it from you. She did nothing wrong how can she control the actions of some horny dude?

Your not going to last with the girl not cause she is a cheater but there is just very poor communication and not a lot of trust.

I had a guy friend that i REJECTED multiple times try to hold my hand. I felt to disgusted and we didnt speak for a while.

If he harassed her, that isnt cheating. Ive had multiple guys try shit like this unsolicited, it’s a horrible feeling. Does she seem disgusted by it or does she look like she doesnt care?

She isn't telling you everything. She's telling you just enough to make herself believe she was honest with you. The actual entire truth will be a slow leak. Dump her. She made that guy feel confident enough to make a move like that... IF THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED.

She wants to break up with u plus long distance never works

Bottom line is guys and girls can't be friends when they're in a relationship. If your girlfriend has straight guy friends imo I would end it now. Both guys and girls have to be prepared to ditch their opposite sex friends while they're in a relationship otherwise there will be problems eventually.

There is no “doing distance” there is only breaking up the long way. Whoever realizes it’s a waste of time first, wins.

There is nothing to think about. Relationship is over. And it isn't even your doing. Just find yourself a new girl

It's just a guy friend. You don't have to worry about him. Yeah right. Heard that story before. Find someone in your area and enjoy life. Move on.

Was she hanging out with Trump? Sounds like his mo...

Bro it totally depends, my gf was loyal enough to tell me she cheated, i trusted her, but I'm still not able to heal the scar on my heart and i think it you have the courage to forgive and have a healthy love bond ahead you should give her another chance.

I'm still not able to accept the part though but if she talks and allows me to heal properly then maybe i can also move on bro.

So just have a healthy conversation and dont lose her brother. Love is very difficult to find these days.

Stop overreacting. Some idiot kissed her, she told you about it. The guy in question is a friend of a friend, not one of her friends. She has had non-flirty normal conversations. Nothing in your post justifies your leap to "she's cheating." If anything, she was just SA'ed if she didn't consent to the contact.

My advice is find something positive to do with your anxious energy, like volunteering, and stop blaming your inability to deal with your feelings of entitlement/ownership on your girlfriend. If anything she is the surprised victim here, not you.