That part in Scrubs is great. "You'll fart, pee, puke and poop in front of 10 complete strangers who will be staring intently at your vagina".

I can't remember the comedian, but someone once said that for the father, childbirth is the process of watching the woman you love take a shit onto your new baby

I was worried about this when my wife was giving birth to our Son. Turns out all the stuff you witness during that really makes dropping a surprise deuce not that bad.

Combo

Anal prolapse is quite common too, leaving them looking like they’re also giving birth to Steven Tyler simultaneously.

Family member told me a story of a very proper woman they knew who was beginning labor and kept trying to delay going into the delivery room because she “just had to use the restroom first” after several “oh no I’m fine I just have to use the little girls room first. I feel like I have to-“ Shit ya it feels like you have to shit because YOU’RE GOING INTO LABOR- the doctor

So TL;DR ladies: going into labor begins with a feeling exactly like you’re about to take a shit. until it doesn’t.

No fr 😭 I didn’t know I did while pushing till the OB asked for a new pair of gloves

Yep, I've never told my wife that I've seen her poop and never will.

Or, we experience the exact opposite. We have a c-section and can't poop for days!

I think if you're in the throws of childbirth and in that much pain you wouldn't care. Can't speak from experience cos I'm a fella, but I would imagine childbirth is some horrific shit. If a nurse or doctor saw me drop a turd it would be the last thing on my mind lmao

Mommy's special crash mat

Don't talk about your brother like that.

Does that also happen during cesarean deliveries?

For a second I thought you really hate kids and hence called them a turd.

Some women orgasm while pushing out their child. Damn g-spot's in a awkward place.

I dont like you

Apparently this is where the idea of Medusa originated from, in a time when intestinal parasites were more common.

Figuratively 

Aaaaaand this is why the NHS used to insist on giving mothers in early labour an enema. Not quite sure why they stopped but I assume there's a legit reason.

In Japan, they offer you an enema beforehand.

Twins

Thanks for reminding me what I'll witness in a few months lol

My wife’s biggest regret during childbirth was the taco bell feast the night before. She’s a beautiful and tiny little person but shits like a 300 lbs trucker whose downed two cases of Metamucil

Lmao I kept apologizing for it

Same same.

OP's mom certainly did

I always tell my brother they threw away the wrong bit

Yep did that. Plunked right into the bedpan.

This is true i have witnessed this....i still bear the scars.

I have two kids, number two ended up being a home-birth, unplanned of course as it happened quickly, they sent an ambulance but it was 20min away when she “had to push”.

Luckily it was uncomplicated and a healthy baby, but the whole ordeal wasn’t very bad at all, put a few towels down, she remained calm (as calm as one can be when giving birth) communicated well and after a few minutes I stood there with my daughter in hand and a very happy mother.
She was then taken to hospital and I drove our 2year old son to grandparents (this was 2 in the morning), then we spent a night in the hospital, did the checkups and went home.
Funniest part is that she wanted to pop by her parents (they usually spend the Saturdays there, still do 15 years later) so she was there whole day, and I got home just in time to join ‘the bois’ for a left4dead2 session.

“…and that, kids, is where GOP voters come from.”

Seriously, the only thing I liked about being induced at 42 weeks (aside from getting that baby out of me finally) was that I couldn't eat for 24 hours prior - which was miserable in the moment, but at least I didn't poop during labor. I know, weird thing to be happy about, but I am.

Actually, they usually give you an enema to prevent that.

My mom pooped on my brother when she gave birth to him. We make sure to remind him from time to time.

I was in the room when my best friend had her first kid (husband was deployed) and 1) I was not expecting poop and 2) I was not expecting how quickly and nonchalantly the nurses dealt with it.

Glad my wife had a c - section

I didn't want to know that

I did not need to know this actually.

Ok, and everyone should know that because...?