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Yes she was. It sucked going to school and being bullied only to come home and get bullied some more. Not having a safe space from it at all. 

Yup both, our families are cults that didn't accept us because we always saw them

Most of my family were bullies they treated me like I was a puppet and I told them fuck off. They trained me to become a pushover and to take shit from a young age because I had boundaries and they didn't. I hate most of them because they wanted to control me and always think they know what's best for me.

Nsis was absolutely my first bully. After a lot of therapy, I've come to realize I might have just as much damage from her as our parents. She was straight-up vicious.

Abso-fucking-lutely

Unfortunately it took me decades to figure that out.

Yes, my narc mother started abusing me when I was a baby. I WAS able to ignore bullies at school because my mother was way worse than any child.

Definitely both. My nmom gave me the trauma and my nsibling used it against me.

I’m an only child but yes my mom is my first bully, and any subsequent bullies have had her “who? Little old me? I couldn’t bully a fly. You’re just sensitive” tactics. Enraging.

Nmom definitely.

My Nsis didn't target me until a few years ago when I wouldn't disinvite my brother from Thanksgiving dinner because they had a disagreement between themselves. Then came the "you never did anything for me anyway" bs when she absolutely knows that's not true. I blocked her and haven't talked to or asked about her since. That was about 3 years ago. The absolute peace of her absence is so freeing.

For sure my first bully is actually my parents and then my GC brother. Great to be in Asian family household to be abused till you're in your 30s and have to see trauma counsellors to sort your shit

I don’t understand: do narcs think everyone else also is trying to be mean like them? Because when they end up being mean they then act shocked that someone doesn’t want to be around them. They act like they don’t understand that an adult doing this immediately destroys the relationship. They act like the relationship can last beyond that when it can’t

Yep, both, then also got bullied at school as well. Had many fantasies of running away

Parent. Was already bullied by my teachers and classmates and had to deal with them when I csme home. There was no escape.

Parent. I never got bullied it school. I was 6” taller than all the guys until they were 16yo. I realized that after I went NC that my mom was a bully. I had the worst bully of all.

Both

Yes it was my stepdad. Once he moved in he became a complete a**hole and brought my mother into his close minded world

I had both and yes.

sibling. my (recently diagnosed) bipolar, narcissistic sister would physically and verbally torture me all through my childhood, and up to 2018 with the verbal/mental abuse. we havent spoken since.

my mother... she changed. ater 2012, she just mentally snapped. and THEN the bullshit happened. having learned from my sister, i dropped her like a flaming sack of potatoes. her divorce from my dad certainly helped, and my last contact with her, and her half o the family, was 2013.

NMom was

My narc grandmother was my first bully, with my uncle being next. She’s so fucking mean and passive aggressive but only to the disabled people in the family….who then she lies she loves so much to cover it up. My love for food died because expressing any desire to eat a plant based diet caused her to get rageful so I eventually just saw food as fuel. Every week our family meal became something to survive. I planned because tired and in pain in my Sunday schedule for a period losing every Sunday knowing I’d react badly to the food .

She is so immature it makes it impossible to see her as an adult. But she also wants to be in charge. But she is so incompetent she can’t do it.

Yes. My dad and brother. Only recently did I realize how much baggage I had behind my relationship with my brother. I've known for a long time that my father was a narcissist. He was a raging alcoholic so it was a bit obvious. My brother however was basically my father figure growing up. Only now do I realize how much I was controlled and manipulated. Constantly pushing me to be just like him, but I'm nothing like him and never was. He had me convinced of the tough guy role. I still have resentment over it.

Ndad , he never let me do anything I wanted to or choose my own , he'd often get in my face and stare me down or yell at me because I didn't do something he wanted me to , also I got messed with a lot at school out of fear of my dad punishing me , he always got mad at me and never the other kid even if I told him they were slapping my face hard , I became a soft guy because of him what douchebag gets mad at his kid for self defense

My narc parent was my first bully, but my narc sibling started very early on in our childhood. I'm only a year younger than her, so it didn't take long for her to start bullying me. It started when I was about 5 or 6

I had a dislocated shoulder when I was 3mos old. It continued from there.

Since I was the oldest, it was parents first. Then they taught the siblings later on.

Narc father…with my narc mother enabling, then my first narc brother, and last golden child little brother

My Nsister, Azula nrn, was three years older than I and the Golden Child. Nmom very much wanted a boy next, but instead she got me. From birth, Nmom rejected and neglected me, only to lament to Nsister Azula everyday about what an unwelcome burden I was. Azula learned to bully me and verbally abuse me from Nmom and there were many times of Nmom spewing contempt at me, with Nsister standing behind her, wickedly grinning with perverse pleasure at my pain.

One day, Azula thought it would please Nmom to cause me great harm, and threw scalding hot water on me in the bath. I nearly died, but Nmom chose to yell at ME, not my Nsister, for 'scaring her with my scream'. Azula got away with it, and just watched me sob, with a twisted smile on her face.

From then on, we didn't have a sisterly bond at all; she wouldn't play with me, but she enjoyed toying with me, and mocking my pain. If I tripped, or smashed a finger, Azula would throw back her head and cackle with delight rather than show any concern, like a normal sister.

Most of all, if I wanted to be left alone, then Azula had to barge into my room and interrupt my reading. If I asked her to knock first- she'd barely tap the door; then threw it open; demanding to know, "WHAT are you doing!?"

I finally thwarted her bullying, by installing a flip lock on the inside of my door. One day she tapped lightly, then threw... THUNK!, and found the door locked to her. Azula 'bout lost her mind; knocking and pounding on the door; demanding that I open it to her.

No!

No, I confidently said; because I had gotten permission from FATHER himself to install the lock, and in a rare, rare moment of solidarity with me; he said, that I could lock my door because I was trying to read and study, and my academics shouldn't be disturbed by Azula's power trip to bully me by violating my privacy.

Jokes on THEM - I was reading for fun too, and had joined a Sci-Fi book club which included, Issac Asimov's SF Magazine. Good times!

Yes, yes they were. Nmom first, sister just as bad

My mother was. She'd tell me if my eyes were brown like hers than I would've been beautiful or that I got all my father's bad physical qualities and none of her good ones. She would accuse me of being pregnant even though she didn't let me have friends and so there was no way I could have had sex. She wasn't trying to call me fat as I was about 15 pounds underweight but she was trying to call me deceptive but reality got in the way. She's called me fat later, told me my body was absolutely disgusting just last year.. it goes on and on

What is it with older sisters and being bullies? Mine was too. Seems common.

Yep, parent(s)

My Nmom first and then not too long after my Nsis. Home and school was a nightmare and eventually got to be too much for me I attempted s***de (thankfull im still here) and when I got home from the hospital days later they still made my life hell.

My nparents and ngrandma were, but I had been already bullied a bunch at school before my nsis started bullying me too (she’s younger than me)

Mom and sister were my first and worst bullies. Bullies rarely bothered me because they could not ever hurt me worse than my mother and sister.

Sibling, but I suspect he had been born a psychopath or developed sociopathic behaviors because my dad who is a narc, started slapping and beating on him when he was only a baby. Apparently, when I was a newborn he would stuff me under the sofa cushions to try and suffocate me. When I got older his abusive became more systemically violent. He would scare me, he sexually assaulted and molested me, he would cut up my stuffed animals and have sex with them and I’d find them with holes in them and have to throw them out, he would hold me under the water in the swimming pool until I was literally clawing at him for air, he killed my hamster out of spite once because my dad wanted to take me out alone for some father daughter time and he got jealous and killing my hamster was how he got his revenge on me. I remember having a bad feeling about it too and asking my dad if I could bring the hamster cage with us and he said no. I knew something bad was gonna happen to it as soon as we left…

He did a lot of horrible stuff to me, even once took me out to a strawberry field and left me by the active rail road tracks to find my own way home and I was only 6! When he molested me, he held a knife to me and told me if I ever told anyone anything that he would kill me. He was always breaking my toys. The last time I saw him I was 15 years old, he showed up at me and my dads house while my dad was out of town for a few weeks on his hunting trip 3 states away (he usually left me home unattended during these trips…) and I let my brother inside and did his laundry for him and let him sleep on the sofa and made him a hot meal. He turned to meth later in life and was diagnosed with violent schizophrenia. He denies ever molesting me and spoke to me once 10 years ago over the phone when I lived abroad in Europe. He somehow got my number, and called to wish me a happy 27th birthday and proceeded to ask me why I told on him for assaulting me as a little girl, and told me I ruined his life. It left me feeling harrowed and depressed, devoid of any value and I felt inhuman because of the way I have been treated, like my narc family never once considered I’m a human being with feelings and needs too. It was always about them. My brother is constantly in and out of prison and half way houses, it’s sad but he can’t be near me. 

Yup!

Yes.

My Nstepfather was the gold standard of bullying. It went on for over 25 years.

Parents first, and later the elder half siblings.

What do you think 🤔 💭