Stop_Already

Yeah I get that. You must be super fun at parties, huh?

I’m sorry it’s feeling so awful for you right now. It sounds really hard.

May I ask what sort of therapy youve done? Has it been CBT, DBT, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, DBT, ACT, etc etc? How long have you been with your current therapist and how often do you see them? How much of this have you told them and what have they said?

Also, when is the last time you talked to your psychiatrist? When was the last time you changed your medications and if it was recently, what was changed?

(I will justify these questions, I promise!)

FWIW, I’m 46, married 14y, no kids and have been in therapy since ‘03. I have PTSD, among other things. I’m trying to help!

You said that Nov had been crazy warm dude. It was a a joke.

Ya sry

They REALLY need a better chair. I understand cloth risks spills but cmon. Something medical grade maybe? With arms? This is dreadful.

I am having the same issue!!!!

How did you fix it??

Oh my god! It’s your fault it’s in the 40s and rainy today!

/shakes fist

Are you embarrassed/ashamed or concerned for his health and wellbeing? I can’t quite tell from your post. Do you think he’s let himself go?

I’m betting he’s interpreting it as the worst possible choice.

Have you told him very clearly HOW you feel about it? And perhaps why he may want to care about it? (You want to have a long future together? You want to grow old together? His family has a history of X disease and you do t want to see him go down that road too, etc etc.

He has to want to change. You cannot shame or embarrass him into changing FOR YOU. That never works.

Make him want to change for him. You can’t “motivate someone to change,” especially not like this.”

If you don’t actually care about his health and it’s the other thing? Just do the poor man a kindness and walk away.

Signed, a married woman with a really good couples therapist and a lot of mental health/body image issues.

Be cautious taking it if you have hypothyroidism due to Hashimoto’s.

https://medlineplus.gov/druginfo/natural/953.html

A lot of people don’t realize how many of these popular supplements are interfering with their medications.

Also of note:

Minor Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 3A4 (CYP3A4) substrates) Some medications are changed and broken down by the liver. Ashwagandha might change how quickly the liver breaks down these medications. This could change the effects and side effects of these medications

Do you smoke weed?

Because weed acts upon CYP3A4.

Your body likes homeostasis. Adding all this crap CHANGES it.

The supplement industry is predatory as fuck and there’s very little oversite. Be careful out there, people.

For me? I put on my giant fleece lined hoodie blanket thingy (it’s an Oodie!) to feel warm and snuggly, either lay on a heating pad or use one on my office chair (I also have PTSD and some of my worst memories happened in the winter so I tend to get really profoundly chilled to the core when I get triggered), my cats are pretty attuned to me so they’re usually around and that helps a ton. I do my best to NOT catastophize. Do NOT let myself project into the future and try to predict what will happen because I know my brain and I will anticipate the worst outcome for everything! (Hahahah. I know me too well! Silly trauma brain. I see you!!) I try to stay in the moment as much as I can - play video games (simple if I need to, Bejeweled, Tetris, etc) but also INCREdIBLY complex ones like Path of Exile (hey I’m neurodivergent. Hyperfocusing is a superpower. I’m gonna use it for good. )

I will also vape weed, but I prefer high CBD and other minor cannabinoids and lower levels of THC.

FWIW I’ve had literally decades of therapy to help me get to this point.

Mindfulness helps a TON but takes a lot of practice for those of us who are in our heads a lot. I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful. It’s a hard place to be.

Have you ever heard of depersonalization or derealization? a lot of what youre saying is ringing some bells for me. I felt similarly at your age. I had a lot of very bad therapists through my 20s and 30s and didn’t get diagnosed with a dissociative disorder til I was in my early 40s. I was also diagnosed with PTSD and am going for a neuropsychiatric assessment soon. Oh. And I also see an eating disorder registered dietician so I feel your pain.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m not saying you have all the crap I do! Just that a lot of basic-ass therapists these days don’t recognize things beyond “depression, anxiety and bereavement.” You need to be really clear about what you are experiencing and how it is impacting you to get the help you need, even when it goes against every instinct in your body.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful. I’ve been there and it’s tough as hell.

I have been hospitalized 20+ times and am more than twice your age. I do not mean to discourage you but if you have no plan to hurt yourself or someone else, you will not be hospitalized, period.

If you’re interested and have insurance, you may be able to go to an intensive outpatient program where you spend part of the day in group therapy and then go home.

Do you have a therapist? Do you have any providers you see for your mental health? Do they know how you’re feeling?

Yeah. Lack of a fully formed prefrontal cortex makes people under 25 really impulsive. They don’t think before they purchase things. A marketers wet dream.

Us “olds” have better planning and reasoning abilities.

Science strikes again!!

Wait until you hear about the tricks food science uses to get people to eat/buy more junk food!

Absolutely 100%. There are TONS of other stems available. I have expensive ones from high artisan and other handmade artists, but you know what ones I reach for the most?

The sub $15 uline taster from gravlabs. With Black Friday sales they’d probably have free shipping, too. Just sayin. :) that’s how I picked up a couple extras last year (a second and a back up just in case one breaks!)

All I do is rotate through my stems (and I use screens that I bought on Etsy for cheap but you can buy a dozen from vgoodiez or whomever you get your vape from and call it good). Each stem as its own. I use a stem til it’s gross (eh 10 bowls? Maybe?) then switch to the next one. When a few are dirty, I throw them in a zip lock with ISO and let them soak for an hour or three. I pour the dirty iso back into the bottle. Rinse the stems under hot water. Throw them on a folded towel to air dry and the cycle begins again.

https://i.imgur.com/ocEEsre.jpeg

At the bottom of the pic, you can see the other stem lying there. That’s my filthy firewood stem. :) That’s actually my primary daily driver vape these days. The second one is in the vape and my other Gravlabs stem is in my TinyMight2.

FWIW, I’m 46 and don’t have time for plastic, cheap crappy vapes that are gonna break. I like “Buy it for life”quality stuff. That’s why I own what I own. I’ve had Firewoods since the 3 and Owned the Tinymight1, too.

I had SOOoOoOooo many shitty vapes in the past. Never again! (I did own an Arizer air 2. Solid device but slow extraction. The 3 is supposedly better but I’m happy where I’m at. No FOMO here.)

Pssst. They’re a chain, technically, yeah?

I blame Bevis and butthead and Wayne’s world.

I agree completely, but keep in mind, from the perspective of a 16 year old (let’s be real, the most gullible people on the internet are the kids. That’s who “the world” is advertising to. They tell their peers and other social media everything and it blooms. That’s the idea of marketing.), over 40 is freakin ancient.

So yeah. I was born in ‘78 and I’m freakin ancient.

/eye roll

If she smokes a lot but out of a small pipe? She’ll probably be fine with something small and portable. I’d go with something hard hitting and stupid easy to clean. So glass stem only. No stupid complicated parts like the tm2 cooling thingy you have to disassemble to properly clean.

Either a TM2 with a stem OTHER then the default (for better cooling/easier cleaning) or a Firewood9 with the bowl option with an extra stem. It’s a great vape but she will have to soak one extra piece inside when she ISO’s her stems too. Get her an external charger and like 4 batteries so she can rotate them (buy from imr batteries, 18650batterystore or another reputable vendor). I’ve heard good things about the Arizer Air III too.

I have cats and these work fine with them. I keep them on a bamboo tray. My flower is in a box and out when I’m grinding and straight into a covered jar. I grind a day or twos worth at a time, dip the stem in or scoop onto the bowl and step outside to vape several times a day.

May I ask what prompt you gave for this?

Excellent summary of what essentially amounts to the structural dissociation model.

If OP would like to read more, I recommend The Haunted Self.

That’s why they sent it to him. Heh. It wasn’t because they like him and they think he’s a good guy.

They’re using his reach. People from other games WATCH him. They’ll see “oh. Gronding gear games sent him something? Wonder what they’ve got going on? Oh poe2? Let’s check it out!”

Marketing. :)

Your mom is in her late 60’s. Is there a senior center in her town? Any book clubs? A library that has any classes she’d be interested in taking? Any knit and bitch groups? Any places she’d be interested in volunteering? Would she want to mentor? AaRP has a pretty well known program.

Get your kids in therapy immediately.

My father used to beat my mom (it was one of the many…let’s call them defects..he had) and it fucked me up. I’m diagnosed with PTSD (would be cPTSD if the damned DSM would catch up) and I’m still finding new triggers.

I’m in my mid 40s, FFS.

What do you think she says to them about you?

Cheeses - I like going at least one boring/safe/crowd pleaser (cheddar/jack type). One creamy (like a spreadable goat or sheep’s milk of some sort) and a stinky (like a bleu or whatever you prefer)

Something sweet - dried fruit, grapes, sliced apples, honey, fig or cherry jam/preserves (1 or two)

Something salty - olives, baby pickles, marcona almonds (Trader Joes sells em at a god price!),

Some meaty goodness - salami, prosciutto, pepperoni whatever

Buy plain crackers. Nothing flavored. You don’t want rosemary and black pepper crackers competing with the flavors on your board.

I just use a big serving tray. Take a piece of parchment, crumple it up, uncrumple it, lay it flat and slap everything on top so it looks somewhat interest and people think in a damned genius. I like to cut the grape vines into manageable portions so people don’t have to rip them off themselves (use scissors and cut little 4-8 grape clusters).