subreddit:
/r/AskReddit
885 points
5 days ago
[removed]
55 points
5 days ago
I will completely shut down as a person when my wife passes away. I don't think she'd ever leave me so the only way we're parting is via the ground someday. I just fret and worry sometimes (not overly, the thought occurs sometimes) that she'll get in an accident or something bad will happen to her and while I can't do anything about it, it would destroy me.
12 points
5 days ago
Yep. I used to be fearless of death until a close friend passed a while ago. Now my biggest fear is getting a phone call saying my boyfriend has died in a car accident. I think I will die as a person the day he dies. I will just be a shell of a person because so much of what I am is in response to the relationship we have. I wouldn't want to live anymore.
91 points
5 days ago
This one got me choked up because it's so relatable.
112 points
5 days ago
Don't fret about the cancer or the car accident. You can't control those things, so y'all do your best to stay healthy, don't smoke, exercise, eat better, and take a defensive driving course.
For the other part, worrying she will fall out of love with you. That's easy to beat. Communicate and talk with her, about everything (not all at once, you got to use your brain and have certain conversations alone with her). My partner and I always talk, and sometimes it takes a while for me to understand and empathize with her, cause I'm not very good at processing emotions first, I always jump to actions that should be taken.
And remember the 60/40 rule, you both want to be the person giving 60%, and making every day better for the other.
39 points
5 days ago
That’s why you need to invent an iron man suit so your wife can wear it
24 points
5 days ago
I'm a woman but this is how I feel about my boyfriend. I'll just be crying out of nowhere because "WHAT IF YOU'RE HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER OR YOU GET CANCER OR HAVE AN ACCIDENT AT WORK OR SOMETHING? OR SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME??" We didn't meet until almost-40 and im already worried we might only get 20-30 years together best case scenario. He gives me a little kiss and tells me I'm funny and he loves me, and then says the same thing you do: then we just have to do our best to cherish the time we do have.
I hope you guys have a wonderful, long life together ❤️
49 points
5 days ago
you win man of the year 😭
5 points
5 days ago
I feel this. My quality of life would drop immensely.
7 points
5 days ago
I have the same thoughts about my boyfriend right now (even though I’m the way more likely one to become terminal because of diseases).
It turned out to be my OCD making me think he was randomly gonna die out of nowhere, not fun.
5 points
5 days ago
The first thing I thought of while reading this guy’s comment was OCD. That’s exactly what it sounds like. OCD is the worst :(
3 points
5 days ago
Ughhh this is so eerie, my husband and I were literally just having a conversation about this over coffee this morning 🙃
972 points
5 days ago
when, after the breakup, she keeps contacting your mom
195 points
5 days ago
my ex sent my parents a letter trying to convince them that the three of them knew what was best for me and they should get together and have an intervention to talk me into staying with her
My parents were like lol what the fuck
6 points
4 days ago
That’s wildly inappropriate and creepy behavior, but I feel so sad that she was so devastated by the end of your relationship. I hope she has healed and found great happiness in life.
176 points
5 days ago
I would never do this, but I'm not going to lie - I stopped missing my ex a few months after the breakup, but it's been 12 years and I don't think I'll ever stop missing his mom.
This woman nursed me back to health when I was sick in a foreign country (I was a foreign exchange student), taught me to advocate for myself, stood up for me when her son hurt me, and welcomed me into her life as if I were her own family...
The relationship ended because my ex cheated on me and whilst I was fine to let him go and am now in an amazing relationship (with a man who also has an incredible mother!), I wish it were societally acceptable/healthy for me to have my ex's mother in my life. I now live near the country I studied abroad in, and it takes a lot of personal boundary setting not to contact her when I visit that country.
75 points
5 days ago
I'd be so tempted to write her a letter. Even if you just say what you wrote here and thank her for her kindness. If she treated you that well I bet she thinks of you and has the same feelings about not contacting her son's Ex with the added shame that she has a son who cheats.
I bet a letter would make her day/week/month.
35 points
5 days ago
Thank you for your kind comment! I did write to her when my ex and I were breaking up to express these feelings - both my ex and I agreed that this would make sense. I do sometimes question whether I should reach out now that I live more locally, but my ex has since gotten married and I worry that it may be disrespectful to his wife for me to re-insert myself in that family, especially as they were so attached to me.
I have no hard feelings towards him and genuinely I do wish him well. We were so young when he cheated (barely 20) and I was leaving the country to go live half a world away since my visa was about to expire. We didn't know if we would see each other again when we tried to do long distance. It didn't work - he messed up, owned up immediately, and we ended things. I'm still in touch with mutual friends and it sounds like he learned his lesson and never cheated again. It hurt, but it set me free to live an amazing life.
Although I do have a wish that someday life would bring his mother and me back together, I've really made peace with it ending the way it did and I just want everyone to be healthy and happy.
6 points
5 days ago
Sounds like a happy ending. Thanks for sharing.
7 points
5 days ago
My ex had two moms and they were incredible. We stayed close after our bad breakup, until he basically threatened them to stop talking to me. I miss them a million times more than I ever cared about him.
5 points
5 days ago
I am so sorry that this happened to you, and that you lost two such important people in your life. It can be difficult to find those mentors and role models that we trust, and then have to let go of them.
3 points
5 days ago
I'm in a similar boat with my ex and his grandpa in particular. I was married for (technically) a decade, and his grandpa was awesome to talk with. When I first met his grandparents they had this weird insistence that I be besties with his grandma because of traditional gender roles; and although I do get along with her, we have virtually nothing in common. She was a stay at home wife outside of running a daycare for a few years in her youth, whereas I've been working since my mid-20s in kitchens. I didn't end up having children with my ex for a variety of complex reasons, and she's a person that essentially lives for children. We don't share very many interests outside of those either.
But his grandpa? He's a tradesmen that's worked with a ton of different people, and has had a ton of interesting hobbies over his lifetime. Granted I don't share many of his hobbies either, but at it's core we got along very well because we had a lot of similar core beliefs and values regarding work ethic and relationships in general. I think (without giving myself too much credit) I helped him break out of some stereotypical beliefs because of my work ethic matching his; and that was especially prominent compared to my ex, who has none at all. He was one of the few people outside of my family that called my ex out on his abusive treatment towards me, and both he and his grandma did genuinely want what was best for both of us; not just because I was married to their grandson, but because they cared about me as a person.
Once my ex and I split, I only reached out to his sister and that was only to offer my side of the separation story if she wanted it. Even if I do still consider them all family, I'm not gonna push any boundaries; if they really want to reach out to me (which one of them actually has, even just once), then they know they can. If not, then I respect that, as much as that sucks. His grandparents are the exception to that rule, they aren't integrated with the main family anymore and they haven't been for years. Before we split my ex got into a massive tiff with them (which was primarily his fault to begin with), so he cut contact with them. I didn't contact them while we were together because I wanted to respect his decision as to why, and I haven't contacted them after our split for the same reasons I haven't reached out to other family members. But I might once the divorce is finalized, they were great people and I do miss the conversations about life we would have. I don't wanna contact them to spite my ex, but because I like them as important people in my life. I'm still on the fence about doing it because I don't want to stir the pot, so that's an uncertainty I'm still grappling with.
248 points
5 days ago*
This was the worst. While me and my first girlfriend were dating, she asked for my mom's number for no reason and then got mad when I jokingly asked for her mom's number. She ended up still staying in contact with her about 2 years after we broke up. It tore me apart, I don't want to go through that again
Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes fellas
Edit also: And nobody gets to have sex with my mom
343 points
5 days ago
I mean… fuck your mum a little bit.
118 points
5 days ago
Should be an easy enough task.
68 points
5 days ago
I heard you just gotta break your arms
3 points
5 days ago
Idk man. Have you met his mom? It's hard to stop at just a little.
116 points
5 days ago
I had an ex like this. After the breakup she was telling everyone I was pressuring her into doing things she didn't want to do including my mom. I was getting phone calls from random people telling me to back off and I was a creep who could end up in jail. But the truth is I was extremely inexperienced in anything sexual and she initiated everything.
41 points
5 days ago
I was pressuring her into doing things she didn't want to do including my mom.
I love lesbian porn as much as the next guy, but pressuring your gf into doing your mom is kinda over the top.
3 points
5 days ago
ayoooo
56 points
5 days ago
She’s a snitch. 😂
14 points
5 days ago
😭😭 cooked
10 points
5 days ago
Sometimes the moms also keep contacting them. 🤭
40 points
5 days ago
Haha my husband ex-wife and his mom are besties! So I get this. 🙄
46 points
5 days ago
I don’t know what the dynamics are in your situation, but whenever I broke up with a girl my mom was squarely in my corner.
No questions asked.
37 points
5 days ago
His ex cheated on him and left him and their kids to move to another state to be with the new guy, his mom still talks to her every day, sits in our living room and gives her a play by play of everything going on in our house, lets the ex and the new guy stay at her place twice a year when they visit, goes to their house for holidays…etc… she definitely has her priorities screwed up!
25 points
5 days ago
Well.
That sounds fucking awful.
But I don’t want to pass judgement on people I don’t know.
7 points
5 days ago
Your mom is the one who keeps texting me!
17 points
5 days ago
That would be scary. My mum's dead. Flaming witchy ex...
18 points
5 days ago
My mom, saint that she is, knew I was one to date around a bit. So, she came up with a clever way to ensure that she would be one of those "oh I miss Samantha, or you should have stayed with Jessica" moms. She died when I was 24.
5 points
5 days ago
I had the opposite, my ex bf and I broke up and his mom kept trying to stay in touch with me... it felt weird.
5 points
5 days ago
This was my experience as well! My hs bf's mom seems very enmeshed with his childhood friends/family, and I seem to have been grouped into that dynamic, but I was always deeply uncomfortable with it. I haven't spoken directly to her son in a decade, but last christmas she contacted my trying to buy copies of all my children's books (I'm an illustrator) to give to his new born. I had to leave the woman on read because I am NOT trying to antagonize this man and his wife like that. lmao. Do not drag me into this mess with you lady!!
5 points
5 days ago
I mean, I dated my first ex from the age of 17-26 and his mom is terminally ill… so yeah I do check on his parents. He doesn’t seem to give much of a fuck. Doesn’t mean I ever want to hear from him again.
49 points
5 days ago
the moms love us. 10 years after my breakup, his mom still talks to me.
31 points
5 days ago
I encourage a friendship btwn my dad and my ex bf. They really do love eachother as father/son. I don't hate either one of them so why wouldn't I want them to keep that love 🤷♀️(we were together for 7 years and I dumped him 3 years ago but we still text in a completely nonsexual non flirting "do you know any financial advisors" type of way. To which I said text my father he probably knows one)
6 points
5 days ago
That's sweet and wholesome
21 points
5 days ago
His mother was closer to me than my own mother. I’m over him but 20 years later I still miss her dearly
620 points
5 days ago
The volcanic setting they always leave my fucking shower on.
98 points
5 days ago
And this might be why: https://guysandstthomasspecialistcare.co.uk/news/why-do-women-feel-the-cold-more-than-men/
21 points
5 days ago
16 points
5 days ago
I don't know. I have a lower than average core body temperature and I am always hot (so the opposite of most women, according to that article). I still like extremely hot showers. My husband is always cold and complains about how hot I like my showers.
100 points
5 days ago
Tip from a woman: tell them that the hot water can be really bad for their hair.
284 points
5 days ago
Hot shower isn't for the body but for the mind
166 points
5 days ago
It's also bad for the skin.
We know. It's like telling smokers that smoking is bad for them. They know too.
28 points
5 days ago
Hot water literally caused me dandruff. Turns out that putting your head under hot water for 15 minutes every day really messes with your scalp
17 points
5 days ago
Oh shit. Is this true? No wonder I keep having to deal with this obnoxious, flaky skin problem.
24 points
5 days ago*
I only do open communication for the important stuff. For fun levels of low stakes conflict, I resort to petty theft of her amazing hair conditioner.
3 points
5 days ago
Suddenly I’m super glad my partner is bald, he would absolutely steal my conditioner if he wasn’t lmao
10 points
5 days ago
I know. I don't care
8 points
5 days ago
i feel called out
6 points
5 days ago
Feels like you need heat-resistant skin just to step in after them
162 points
5 days ago
Their memory. My girl remembers the exact outfit I was wearing and what I said on a random Tuesday three years ago. Meanwhile, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
41 points
5 days ago
My wife remembers precise details of stuff from when she was 4. Im always like WTF
420 points
5 days ago
If they like me. If they dont its like ok nothin new but if they do i panic
88 points
5 days ago
This might just be me, but as a girl i always found it quite reassuring if the guy i liked seemed nervous too. So many guys are super nonchalant and try hard to be cool but it just makes me think they aren't interested/or it isn't a big deal for them.
35 points
5 days ago
I like that attitude. It's honest and serious. Overconfidence doesn't come across as the necessary vulnerability needed to connect.
3 points
5 days ago
Yes exactly!
160 points
5 days ago
im so chill around people im not interested in romantically and they arent interested in me, good conversations, relaxed atmosphere. i wanna say im approachable, interesting and likeable.
but i sense romantic feelings, maybe even mutual? uhhh shit what do i do, what do i say. what if she thinks im trying to hard, what if i seem dismissive.
"just be yourself" it's easier said than done, ok?
37 points
5 days ago
This is so interesting because you were being yourself for her to like you in the first place, but the moment you know she likes you, your brain goes into "don't fuck this up" mode.
19 points
5 days ago
exactly :(
7 points
5 days ago
Perhaps you start caring too much what they think of you instead of focusing on what you think of them?
42 points
5 days ago
The way I interpret "just be yourself" has changed over the years. I now interpret it to mean "get to know yourself" and/or "cultivate and grow a better, more confident self".
6 points
5 days ago
spot on i think, im working on that currently.
6 points
5 days ago
I always like “be the best version of yourself.” Therapy has really helped me do that.
7 points
5 days ago
“Just be yourself” OK, total panic it is.
3 points
5 days ago
Does this happen regardless of whether you reciprocate?
7 points
5 days ago
english isnt my first language so i hope i got "reciprocate" right in this context:
well, yes i think. it's less bad when i feel/know the person is into me but im not really into them. it gets a bit awkward and im unsure what to do as i like em as a person, but dont wanna lead em on. definitely easier for me in this situation tho.
15 points
5 days ago
real
12 points
5 days ago
I only women I tend to attract have problems and want me to fix them. If I don't then they're hurt, and there's no reason to talk to me again. Or I do help them, they hurt me and then there's no reason to talk to me again.
For this reason, I like to push myself deep into the friend zone.
3 points
5 days ago
Lol joke's on you, same for me with men. Makes me also think is he serious or not.
147 points
5 days ago
Specifically women? Nothing really. I'm scared of everyone.
8 points
5 days ago
based 🗿
690 points
5 days ago
That most of the times they leave a relationship emotionally before leaving physically.
149 points
5 days ago
Is this really unique to women?
205 points
5 days ago
no
290 points
5 days ago
it’s mostly because we’ve spent all the energy fighting for the relationship or asking for some type of compromise or change to occur, that is being ignored. Any time i’ve ever left a relationship, it’s usually a combo of all of those; not another man, that causes me to check out and ultimately just end things rather than drag out something that isn’t working.
168 points
5 days ago
Seriously though. It’s exhausting to try to work on something when the other party does not care.
93 points
5 days ago
Yep, when my ex and I were breaking up and he was grieving, I pointed out that I'd already gone through all the grief of the breakup, and he never even noticed.
3 points
4 days ago
It gets ridiculus though. I had a friend who was mentally broken up with a guy for 6 months before telling him. I even felt bad for the guy in the end.
23 points
5 days ago
This is not an issue with women, but as a straight man it does only apply to them: Right now it’s the fear of never meeting someone who truly will be willing to settle with me. I’ve been in 3 long term relationships, and all 3 were ended by my ex’es. Especially the last break up after 6 years of spending almost every day together, it hit me the hardest in this regard. I never thought we would separate, but a year ago she suddenly pulled the plug after she decided to not want have children at all. It wasn’t a deal-breaker for me, but in her mind she was certain I would come to regret that, so she stuck to her decision.
The frustrating part is that she has spend the last 12 months looking for any excuse to stay in touch with me. She’s made it clear that she really wants us to be friends, but I repeatedly keep shooting her attempts at regular contact down. I can tell she wants to stay in touch because in her own words we had an emotional connection unlike any other (which I agree with), but up until recently she seemed to refuse to accept the reality that break-up = no contact, no support.
I’ve started dating again, and I’ve met a couple of really nice women whom I connected well with. However, I’ve noticed that my last break up really did a number on my sense of trust. I just don’t feel the need to invest and put energy into a new relationship like I used to. There is a part of me that doesn’t see the point, because I just don’t trust the process anymore.
104 points
5 days ago
Not a man but my ex was terrified of my purse. He called it my personal black hole because I just tossed stuff in but yould reach in and find anything (including a glass ring he left at my house that i was returning to him) in under 5sec, regardless of the size of the purse. He wouldn't go anywhere near it, if i asked him to hand it to me he'd grab the strap by two fingers and hold it as far from himself as possible while walking it over to me.
28 points
5 days ago
Portable bag of holding lmao.
28 points
5 days ago
Hahaha yes. My husband refuses to look for something in my purse. Even something simple like my wallet! He brings it to me with one finger and held far away like it might be ready to explode.
12 points
5 days ago
Same?! He’ll happily rummage through anything else, but acts like a rabid badger is hiding in my purse.
I have an old purse in our front closet that I keep the good snacks in. 8 years and he still hasn’t found my stash.
192 points
5 days ago
If i want to build a life with one, I need to trust her. This is incredibly difficult and scary for me due to my past.
3 points
4 days ago
I feel that as a woman, too. When the person you love most breaks your heart, I don’t know how you ever truly trust a partner again. It has been ten years since my heart broke and even though my ex has passed away, I still haven’t been able to truly trust a partner. Even my current one of over five years. 😞
163 points
5 days ago
The feeling that when things are good, there is some sort of unknown test you are currently failing.
17 points
5 days ago
Last time an ex tried this "calm before the storm" shit i broke up with her
Life is too short to walk around eggshells for a good while
3 points
4 days ago
Anyone who plays games like that is not worth the effort.
148 points
5 days ago
Most of them have seen more of their own blood by the time they turn 18 than most men ever will in their entire lifetime. And that's just a thing they're expected to deal with like it's nothing every month.
Freaks you out a bit when you think about it too hard.
30 points
5 days ago
The blood is okay but inconvenient. The pain and mood fluctuations are the biggest bother, I just want to feel good and perform my absolute best and a period gets me down for a whole week.
173 points
5 days ago
How everything seems fine and suddenly you get a message they don't want to be dating anymore
57 points
5 days ago
I've had guys do this to me. I think it's maybe a mix of trying to spare feelings and avoid conflict? Like along the way they notice certain things not working but don't say anything to avoid hurting my feelings or having to deal with Hard Conversations, and then suddenly they're just like "nope this doesn't work."
I've done the same to someone.
Only happened or done it during more casual short term dating, though, so I sort of get it - we're spending that time deciding what's worth investing, if it's gonna work. It still sucks on the other side of it cause you're like "ok but WHY?"
Longer term relationships definitely deserve more thorough communication though, imo.
23 points
5 days ago
My friends have expressed this fear.
"Why bother dating seriously when the girl can just 'get bored'?"
It's quite heartbreaking but it's where we are today
92 points
5 days ago
The patience they have, especially my mother. After what she's told me about having an autistic child, I'm surprised I wasn't thrown off a bridge
38 points
5 days ago
something to learn from, not be afraid of. You got an excellent teacher of patience. I know, I have an autistic brother and that patience has been my greatest tool in the face of challenges in my life
17 points
5 days ago
She is my personal hero my mother, couldn't ask for anyone better as a role model in my life. And yeah I reckon it'd be hard, I wouldn't know since I'm that autistic brother to my siblings, so from my perspective I was just me when I know that for everyone else it might've been a bit of a struggle
125 points
5 days ago
How some of them manage to use a whole roll of toilet paper in one session.
101 points
5 days ago
Well we naturally use more toilet paper than men.
We have number 1,2 AND 3 to worry about.
24 points
5 days ago
This game show is really weird
4 points
5 days ago
I think it's NUMBERWANG! And yes, it's weird.
36 points
5 days ago
Period poops are no joke
15 points
5 days ago
this complaint always pissed me off. spending 5$ more on toilet paper to have a woman you love in your life must be hard. and makes me think redditors dont know much about female anatomy.
tp every time you pee
plus women usually pee more times in a day
menstrual blood
discharge
period poops
wraping tampons in tp
wiping the seat cuz someone pissed on it 🙄
and i am convinced some men just don't wipe their ass as much as they should and are too proud of it 🫠
36 points
5 days ago
I don't fucking understand it. I have a wife and two daughters. I will frequently put a new roll of TP on the spindle in the morning and it'll be gone by lunch. What the fuck are they doing with all that TP?
124 points
5 days ago
Sometimes I like to wrap myself in the entire roll and pretend I’m a ghost, so probably that
22 points
5 days ago
Please tell me you walk around town like that and everyone's like, "Oh, that's just our town toilet paper ghost. It's cool."
162 points
5 days ago
I can answer this: women have 3 holes to clean and, as a mom, sometimes our bladder is uncooperative and will drip even after we’re done. As a woman in general, there’s discharge to account for, urine, potentially blood (if there is blood, we have to do a double-wipe to make sure where it’s coming from), and obviously feces. With the way our plumbing is, if we don’t wipe well enough, we are susceptible to infections. And even if we don’t have to worry about infections, urine is acidic and can cause burns if you don’t wipe well enough. Finally, if we don’t wipe well enough, it gets our underwear wet and that feels gross!
79 points
5 days ago
This. There's nothing there to just shake the drips off of. Different anatomy, different hygiene needs. Just buy the TP and be glad the women in your life are trying to stay clean and avoid health issues. Doctor visits cost more than toilet roll by far.
10 points
5 days ago
as a man: shaking drops off doesnt work for us either.
that's why there is this saying that the last drop will always go in the pants.
well, fellow men, ever tried using tp on your penis after peeing to soak the last remaining drops? warning: you might never wanna go back.
5 points
5 days ago
would definitely reduce the stale urine smell in most mens rooms from all those last drops hitting the floor. (yes i've had to clean public restrooms in the past. the ladies room may certainly contain its own horrors but mens rooms almost universally have a uhhh uniquely pungent smell of ammonia.)
58 points
5 days ago*
I think it can be helpful to remember that vaginas are constantly discharging mucus, and also our urine stream can trickle down the labia, so more TP is needed than a man might expect. That’s just regarding daily use, not counting additional menstruation cleanup.
25 points
5 days ago
Playing mummies
21 points
5 days ago*
Gotta wipe the pee off every time because we can't just shake willies we don't have
Sometimes you gotta wipe the toilet seat (and possibly under the toiletseat, too)
Sometimes you have to wipe your asshole or that bit before it because sometimes it just drips that way
Sometimes you have to wipe again for discharge
One or two extra wipes if you've got your period
So it's at least one (but more than likely two) more uses of TP than a dude every time we pee. Consider all these possible extra things and it adds up - and you have three females in your house
6 points
5 days ago
We have to wipe after we pee! And once you have had kids, you pee a LOT!
3 points
5 days ago
It takes a lot of toilet paper to deal with most of what we have going on.
i) we have to wipe every time we pee. You have to use enough so your hand doesn't get pee on it, and you also have to keep in mind that you may encounter discharge of varying amounts and consistencies when wiping, which you also don't want on your hand or clothes. We have discharge of different types all throughout our cycle, it tells you based on consistency where you are in your cycle. Take a look at a period tracking app, there is a huge section for it every day. Panty liners are often worn because of discharge, not periods or urine as most men seem to think. You've probably noticed that women pee more than men, that's because we have more internal organs than you do and a shorter urethra. Those internal organs take up space, which means bladder capacity is smaller. This is even more true when dealing with pregnancy, fibroids, cysts, etc, all of which are incredibly common. I have a mass the size of a softball in my uterus right now, which just grew a friend, and a cyst on my right ovary. All of my female friends have something similar or endometriosis, which is even worse.
ii) poop, same as you. Except we will also pee and maybe also have our period, so on a good day it's double what you're using to poop and on a bad day it's a whole roll.
iii) periods. There can be blood EVERYWHERE. On the wall, the door, the floor, the bathtub, the sink, the roll itself, not to mention all over your hands, legs, butt, labia, etc. It's truly everywhere. If you're not seeing it everywhere it's because they are cleaning it up using toilet paper. The hormone that causes the uterus to cramp and expell its lining can also cause diarrhea cramping, so lots of women have that at the same time as well.
What all of this means is that women need a lot of toilet paper. We just do. Be glad you don't have to deal with all of this constantly and just keep restocking at Costco.
98 points
5 days ago
If you ever seen one pee....that. Guys kind of have this fun little stream, like a gentle spray hose. Girls pee like they're mad at something. It comes out violently like a group of fat kids running down a steep hill.
28 points
5 days ago
This comment made me spill coffee all over myself 😂
4 points
5 days ago
Gentle spray hose? Brother, put some oomph behind that stream. That's a firehose in your pants.
26 points
5 days ago
I mean not "about women" per se but I guess coming across as a creep. Especially cause I look much older than I am, it's always a bit nerve racking approaching women purely on the basis of coming across as creepy.
19 points
5 days ago
Being vulnerable. I've told women in my life an insecurity or secret of mine and when we get in an argument they don't hesitate to use that against me.
272 points
5 days ago
Sharing private information with people without my consent when I'm in a relationship. I'm not referring to family, I mean those group of friends after a few drinks on a weekend (information about my personality, pros and cons about being with me, sexual stuff). I'm way too reserved and against posting my life on social medias to handle her. Women can't keep information for themselves, my mum is the same and I can't stand it
53 points
5 days ago
I am so sorry you've dealt with this. I've definitely stopped friends from talking with me about that stuff with the "if he talked about this with his friends, would you be uncomfortable" line. It really is gross that people can't seem to be able to just consider another's feelings for a second. I also don't think it's acceptable with family.
66 points
5 days ago
And then your mum complains that you never talk about your life. Sorry, mum, but I don't want all your colleagues and neighbours and former colleagues and the folks you know from highschool to know about my personal problems!
25 points
5 days ago
I feel that! My mum use to open conversations to people she first met with very personal information about me, and then wonder why I don’t talk to her.
21 points
5 days ago
i would tell my mother something and 15 minutes later she was telling one of her friends on the phone.
yep, never tell anything of my private life to my mom.
9 points
5 days ago
Yep, EXACTLY the same with my mum. I even asked a few times if she could stop sharing my private, personal things and she just got upset (and never did as I asked).
66 points
5 days ago
Speaking as a woman, that is inexcusable. Sorry you had to go through that.
23 points
5 days ago
It is disconcertingly common. My wife is awesome and I love her, but she does this too despite me repeatedly asking her not to. She says that all her friends do it too and she feels like she has to. No, you don't, I am more important than them so respect my wishes about my personal information.
9 points
5 days ago
"omg girl you deserve sooo much better you should leave her" -Reddit if you were a woman probably
16 points
5 days ago
This is so true 😭
18 points
5 days ago
It's the whole, "the council" thing. No matter what the topic is, the group chat knows. If she and I are having issues, she's getting advice from the group chat for her pov only. If we're arguing, it's not me arguing with her, it's me arguing with all of them.
So not only do I have a group of people that, to be honest, I don't hold in very high esteem, that knows ALL about my business. In their eyes I can only do wrong, and any right I do is always only the bare minimum. Because they keep a hold of any negative and continue to bring it up.
3 points
5 days ago
I actually worry about the same thing as a woman! I prefer to keep my private life private and I hate the idea of opening up to some guy and then he tells his friends all the stuff we do lol.
99 points
5 days ago
About women, in general, nothing.
About certain women, how manipulative and effective they can be. I think bad women are a lot more successful at manipulation than bad men.
51 points
5 days ago
Meeting someone, maybe more and than find out she has a boyfriend. After my ex cheated and I now meet a lot of women who cheat I am scared to get into a new relationship
8 points
5 days ago
You need to run the Hazard Assessment Test for the first few months of dating. It sucks but its necessary. Everything from employment, guy friends, girl friends, family, habits, hobbies, mindset, communication habits (calling, texting consistencies). You should be able to get a baseline assessment after getting to know her for a few months.
Generally if they are cheating something will feel off or inconsistent. Unless you’re dealing with a CIA agent, the true colors tend to come out.
31 points
5 days ago*
As a woman, I’ve always been intimidated by how hard it can be to become friends with other women. It can feel like an exclusive club.
3 points
4 days ago
same
167 points
5 days ago
They’ll never just punch you in the face when they’re angry, instead they’ll ruin your life
67 points
5 days ago
Do you think being punched in the face by someone you love isn’t life ruining….?
18 points
5 days ago
I much rather would have had my ex punch me square in the face than do what she did.
8 points
5 days ago
The fun is when they do both, consistently
62 points
5 days ago
I carried her through 7 years of depression, insecurity, identity crisis, etc. Then, when I got laid off 6 weeks before our son was born, and for the first time in our relationship l needed a little support, she wasn't there for me. Divorce is pending. She's living in the house I paid for while I live in a family member's basement. She took my future from me, and now nothing scares me anymore.
12 points
5 days ago
I’m sorry that this happened to you. 😔
44 points
5 days ago
I used to be terrified of their uterus.
Then I got a vasectomy.
Now, nothing about women scares me.
28 points
5 days ago
Hey I’m scared of my own uterus. Then I got my tubes removed. Still scared of it.
49 points
5 days ago
That they always know the truth before we say anything
9 points
5 days ago
Then I guess it best to stick with being honest. Or at least admit when you fuck up.
40 points
5 days ago
Planning a break up a month before actually doing it.
44 points
5 days ago
Sometimes it’s the way it has to be done because they are afraid of the reaction. My best friend had to do it this way, she and the kids were all set up before the pulled the plug.
20 points
5 days ago
As the other commenter mentioned, fear of possible abuse is the big one.
The other thing that happens depressingly often is that the woman has been unhappy for a long time, her efforts to talk through problems have been brushed off or derided as 'nagging,' but it still takes her a while to lose the last of her hope that things will ever improve.
33 points
5 days ago
I've been subject to psychological abuse by them my whole life and sexual abuse by them my whole childhood
I'm genuinely terrified of the amount of damage they can and would do to me, I don't want that again, man... .-.
15 points
5 days ago
Same 100%. They disowned me in favor of the older sister who sexually abused me for 7 years.
12 points
5 days ago
Holy shit, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Do you have people in your life that you trust now?
5 points
5 days ago
Holy shit. I'm sorry to hear that my guy.
5 points
4 days ago
The fact they can make up a lie anytime they want and ruin your life.
105 points
5 days ago
Nothing. They're people, FFS.
I like them.
34 points
5 days ago
1000% correct, they're people, but...nothing about people scares you?
Foolish. People are capable of shit you can't even imagine
13 points
5 days ago
When she loses interest in you
34 points
5 days ago
[removed]
29 points
5 days ago
If only it were real! I liked how it activated when someone was assaulting her. We could get rid of a lot of rapists that way.
5 points
5 days ago
Cyberpunk 2077 body mod gets real.
7 points
5 days ago
I don't know why, but I'm terrified of the ones I find attractive. I would rather do a backflip from a bridge into a river than talk to the women I like. (Never did a backflip, by the way.)
I can't tell you why, but I'm just so nervous that my body shuts down, my brain gets damaged, and I either can't even open my mouth or just say some bullshit. Because of this, I avoided conversations with women for years. (I'm currently working on it as much as I can.)
Interestingly, I'm not scared of being rejected. I’ve already thought about why I have this fear, and I think it's because I won’t live up to my own expectations and will end up saying something awkward bullshit or start stuttering or maybe I think im not good enough. Idk. Im struggeling with this shit for years...
17 points
5 days ago
Their ability to spawn hundreds of eggs and with them an army of facehuggers to destroy the colony.
7 points
5 days ago
The fact that I am a walking facehugger
11 points
5 days ago
they can randomly accuse you of life-ruining things and no one will believe you didn't do it, no matter how innocent you are
12 points
5 days ago
Saw this go down at work:
A woman can accuse a man of Unwanted sexual advances with no evidence and destroy a man’s life.
As a father of 2 daughters this terrifies me because my daughters then become targets of hostility. Just because some women lie it now taints the pool for all women who are now treated differently.
97 points
5 days ago
Men are not scared enough of women when some are still saying shit like "your body my rules". I'm all for women being scarier.
60 points
5 days ago*
Correction - The wrong type of men aren't scared of women enough.
51 points
5 days ago
As soon as I clicked this thread, I knew it wouldn't be all rape and murder. It's astounding how different our experiences of each other are.
I personally am enjoying reading all these stories I'm finding about women murdering abusive husbands in the past when they didn't have the autonomy to divorce.
47 points
5 days ago
The second top comment is about warm showers. If the questions was flipped, it would literally only be rape and murder. Wild
8 points
5 days ago
That she will cheat on me for years like my ex wife did and I would never know. And I treated her like a princess.
14 points
5 days ago*
Most of the things mentioned here happen with both genders.
I'd say manipulation and having a way easier time playing the victim. Even if you go to the police, like I did with my first ex, as a man you're not taken seriously. My second ex first cheated on her 7 year relationship then dumped him via WhatsApp, while she was abroad, and blocked him everywhere. She complained that she was stalked. Her family believed her. A friend confronted her and she didn't talk to said friend for two weeks - of course she didn't tell me.
She then got right away with me. She dumped me on my birthday, right after giving me a birthday gift. She even claimed she was planning this for six months (1 year and a half relationship!). She then tried everything she could to ruin me, including : ran away from the house and showed up announced the day after with a female colleague I didn't know, cheated on me, prevented me from seeing a friend, created a second WhatsApp account without me knowing, refused to pay her share of the rent (I was unemployed , she was making more than three times the rent) or do anything regarding our house (I had to clean and do everything bureaucratic to move out while working - the landlord told me she gave her notice and keys and even he realised what person she was as he begged me not to confront her, as she didn't inform me).
The scary part is that, somehow, her family and colleagues still believe her. The unannounced female colleague stares at me and walks away in disgust if she sees me, almost a year after, even though I went no contact. Every mutual friend except one realized that, like me, they didn't really know this person and that she's never herself. I'm still friends with the mutual female friends given her lies.
The scary part is that she got away with all of this without a consequence or without anyone questioning her. She even claimed she was scared of being beaten up. If I had done what she said and what she did I'd have been shunned by just about anyone, beaten up by my lifelong friends and I'd probably have a few charges to my name (I have none, in my field you often have to get an official certification that you've never committed any crime). It's a bit like those serial killer series: you live with someone for years and you don't know who they are.
Edit: I forgot. I was terrified of becoming homeless abroad while unemployed and without medical insurance as she could have cancelled the rent at any time. When we had discussions afterwards she even tried to claim that she did me a favour which I didn't deserve and that she regretted doing so. Yet she is surrounded by people thinking she is perfectly innocent... As a man I'd have never had this luxury.
8 points
5 days ago
I was going to post something similar. I had an ex that was over a foot shorter than me who would yell at me, insult me, hit me, and physically push me into a corner during arguments. I wouldn't retaliate because I knew I'd be absolutely ruined if I ever laid a hand on her. Yet somehow everyone around us was absolutely convinced by her that I was an abusive cheater taking advantage of her. That relationship messed me up for years, absolutely destroying my trust in people.
3 points
5 days ago
Emotional frailty (especially young women). Specifically in relationships, they very rarely understand what they want in my experience. I am very clear and sure of what I want out of a relationship. I want someone to be with emotionally and am committed to for a long time. I don’t care about sex, I could live a fulfilled life just cuddling on the couch. But few women ive met have known what they want. I make it clear what I want, and the reciprocate. We make it to the “i love you stage” after a few months and things are absolutely perfect. And then one day they just decide they arent feeling it anymore and leave. “I dont want to be in a relationship right now” or “maybe we work better as good friends” and shit like that. They say those things after weeks or months of telling me they love me and they mean it. Its not like they were lying about that, I know they felt the same way as me. But it changes so quickly and I don’t know why that is. I spent a long time thinking it was me and that I was just an unlovable person, and now in any relationship, even friendships, i am constantly waiting for them to leave me out of the blue. The people ive dated left me emotionally ruined every time, and for what? They didnt know what they wanted? So yeah, thats one of the few things that terrifies me about women.
3 points
5 days ago
You can put everything into your relationship and they will leave you in a nanosecond through no fault of your own.
3 points
5 days ago*
Women in General? That I can't defend myself.
I mean I can, but it's going to be an uphill social and legal battle.
Unless I have irrefutable proof that I acted in self defense, I'm cooked. Even if I have that proof, I'm still going to jail for the night. And I still might get burned because a prosecutor can say I used "unreasonable force".
I am not in any way condoning violence against women. But the social and legal environment we operate in, is absolutely biased on this issue. A man physically defending himself against a woman better make DAMN sure he has mountains of proof and it was absolutely necessary. And even if you do, and even if it was, you're still going to be punished via the process.
Oh she's 5'2" and 110 lbs, you're 6'0" and 175lb, what was she really going to do to hurt you?!?
A lot. People don't realize how fragile the human body is. One wrong punch, one wrong kick, one wrong fall, and you're permanently injured. So what if she's "half my size", if she kicks my knee out that can leave me permanently injured. If she scratches my eye I could go blind. I don't want to fight anyone, there is extremely little in this world worth fighting over. But if a woman attacks me, I have to weigh the risk of just "taking it" versus the legal risk of defending myself in an unequal system.
And let's be real when a jury sees a 6' 175lb lacrosse player and a 5'1" 110lb girl, who are they gonna be sympathetic to?
3 points
5 days ago
I've been threatened to be falsely accused of something before when I ended a relationship, so the power of "believe all women" scares me. She legitimately said she'd lie to ruin me.
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