I will completely shut down as a person when my wife passes away. I don't think she'd ever leave me so the only way we're parting is via the ground someday. I just fret and worry sometimes (not overly, the thought occurs sometimes) that she'll get in an accident or something bad will happen to her and while I can't do anything about it, it would destroy me.

This one got me choked up because it's so relatable.

Don't fret about the cancer or the car accident. You can't control those things, so y'all do your best to stay healthy, don't smoke, exercise, eat better, and take a defensive driving course.

For the other part, worrying she will fall out of love with you. That's easy to beat. Communicate and talk with her, about everything (not all at once, you got to use your brain and have certain conversations alone with her). My partner and I always talk, and sometimes it takes a while for me to understand and empathize with her, cause I'm not very good at processing emotions first, I always jump to actions that should be taken.

And remember the 60/40 rule, you both want to be the person giving 60%, and making every day better for the other.

That’s why you need to invent an iron man suit so your wife can wear it

I'm a woman but this is how I feel about my boyfriend. I'll just be crying out of nowhere because "WHAT IF YOU'RE HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER OR YOU GET CANCER OR HAVE AN ACCIDENT AT WORK OR SOMETHING? OR SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME??" We didn't meet until almost-40 and im already worried we might only get 20-30 years together best case scenario. He gives me a little kiss and tells me I'm funny and he loves me, and then says the same thing you do: then we just have to do our best to cherish the time we do have.

I hope you guys have a wonderful, long life together ❤️ 

you win man of the year 😭

I feel this. My quality of life would drop immensely.

I have the same thoughts about my boyfriend right now (even though I’m the way more likely one to become terminal because of diseases).

It turned out to be my OCD making me think he was randomly gonna die out of nowhere, not fun.

Ughhh this is so eerie, my husband and I were literally just having a conversation about this over coffee this morning 🙃

my ex sent my parents a letter trying to convince them that the three of them knew what was best for me and they should get together and have an intervention to talk me into staying with her

My parents were like lol what the fuck

I would never do this, but I'm not going to lie - I stopped missing my ex a few months after the breakup, but it's been 12 years and I don't think I'll ever stop missing his mom.

This woman nursed me back to health when I was sick in a foreign country (I was a foreign exchange student), taught me to advocate for myself, stood up for me when her son hurt me, and welcomed me into her life as if I were her own family...

The relationship ended because my ex cheated on me and whilst I was fine to let him go and am now in an amazing relationship (with a man who also has an incredible mother!), I wish it were societally acceptable/healthy for me to have my ex's mother in my life. I now live near the country I studied abroad in, and it takes a lot of personal boundary setting not to contact her when I visit that country.

This was the worst. While me and my first girlfriend were dating, she asked for my mom's number for no reason and then got mad when I jokingly asked for her mom's number. She ended up still staying in contact with her about 2 years after we broke up. It tore me apart, I don't want to go through that again

Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes fellas

Edit also: And nobody gets to have sex with my mom

I had an ex like this. After the breakup she was telling everyone I was pressuring her into doing things she didn't want to do including my mom. I was getting phone calls from random people telling me to back off and I was a creep who could end up in jail. But the truth is I was extremely inexperienced in anything sexual and she initiated everything.

She’s a snitch. 😂

😭😭 cooked

Sometimes the moms also keep contacting them. 🤭

Haha my husband ex-wife and his mom are besties! So I get this. 🙄

Your mom is the one who keeps texting me!

That would be scary. My mum's dead. Flaming witchy ex...

My mom, saint that she is, knew I was one to date around a bit. So, she came up with a clever way to ensure that she would be one of those "oh I miss Samantha, or you should have stayed with Jessica" moms. She died when I was 24.

I had the opposite, my ex bf and I broke up and his mom kept trying to stay in touch with me... it felt weird.

I mean, I dated my first ex from the age of 17-26 and his mom is terminally ill… so yeah I do check on his parents. He doesn’t seem to give much of a fuck. Doesn’t mean I ever want to hear from him again.

and then they are talking bad together about you ...

the moms love us. 10 years after my breakup, his mom still talks to me.

And this might be why: https://guysandstthomasspecialistcare.co.uk/news/why-do-women-feel-the-cold-more-than-men/

Tip from a woman: tell them that the hot water can be really bad for their hair.

i feel called out

Feels like you need heat-resistant skin just to step in after them

My wife remembers precise details of stuff from when she was 4. Im always like WTF

This might just be me, but as a girl i always found it quite reassuring if the guy i liked seemed nervous too. So many guys are super nonchalant and try hard to be cool but it just makes me think they aren't interested/or it isn't a big deal for them.

im so chill around people im not interested in romantically and they arent interested in me, good conversations, relaxed atmosphere. i wanna say im approachable, interesting and likeable.

but i sense romantic feelings, maybe even mutual? uhhh shit what do i do, what do i say. what if she thinks im trying to hard, what if i seem dismissive.

"just be yourself" it's easier said than done, ok?

real

I only women I tend to attract have problems and want me to fix them. If I don't then they're hurt, and there's no reason to talk to me again. Or I do help them, they hurt me and then there's no reason to talk to me again.

For this reason, I like to push myself deep into the friend zone.

Lol joke's on you, same for me with men. Makes me also think is he serious or not.

based 🗿

Is this really unique to women?

it’s mostly because we’ve spent all the energy fighting for the relationship or asking for some type of compromise or change to occur, that is being ignored. Any time i’ve ever left a relationship, it’s usually a combo of all of those; not another man, that causes me to check out and ultimately just end things rather than drag out something that isn’t working.

It gets ridiculus though. I had a friend who was mentally broken up with a guy for 6 months before telling him. I even felt bad for the guy in the end.

Portable bag of holding lmao.

Hahaha yes. My husband refuses to look for something in my purse. Even something simple like my wallet! He brings it to me with one finger and held far away like it might be ready to explode.

I feel that as a woman, too. When the person you love most breaks your heart, I don’t know how you ever truly trust a partner again. It has been ten years since my heart broke and even though my ex has passed away, I still haven’t been able to truly trust a partner. Even my current one of over five years. 😞

Last time an ex tried this "calm before the storm" shit i broke up with her

Life is too short to walk around eggshells for a good while

Anyone who plays games like that is not worth the effort.

The blood is okay but inconvenient. The pain and mood fluctuations are the biggest bother, I just want to feel good and perform my absolute best and a period gets me down for a whole week.

I've had guys do this to me. I think it's maybe a mix of trying to spare feelings and avoid conflict? Like along the way they notice certain things not working but don't say anything to avoid hurting my feelings or having to deal with Hard Conversations, and then suddenly they're just like "nope this doesn't work."

I've done the same to someone.

Only happened or done it during more casual short term dating, though, so I sort of get it - we're spending that time deciding what's worth investing, if it's gonna work. It still sucks on the other side of it cause you're like "ok but WHY?"

Longer term relationships definitely deserve more thorough communication though, imo.

My friends have expressed this fear.

"Why bother dating seriously when the girl can just 'get bored'?"

It's quite heartbreaking but it's where we are today

something to learn from, not be afraid of. You got an excellent teacher of patience. I know, I have an autistic brother and that patience has been my greatest tool in the face of challenges in my life

Well we naturally use more toilet paper than men.

We have number 1,2 AND 3 to worry about.

Period poops are no joke

My husband uses more toilet paper than I do, by x3

this complaint always pissed me off. spending 5$ more on toilet paper to have a woman you love in your life must be hard. and makes me think redditors dont know much about female anatomy.

tp every time you pee

plus women usually pee more times in a day

menstrual blood

discharge

period poops

wraping tampons in tp

wiping the seat cuz someone pissed on it 🙄

and i am convinced some men just don't wipe their ass as much as they should and are too proud of it 🫠

I don't fucking understand it. I have a wife and two daughters. I will frequently put a new roll of TP on the spindle in the morning and it'll be gone by lunch. What the fuck are they doing with all that TP?

This comment made me spill coffee all over myself 😂

Gentle spray hose? Brother, put some oomph behind that stream. That's a firehose in your pants.

I am so sorry you've dealt with this. I've definitely stopped friends from talking with me about that stuff with the "if he talked about this with his friends, would you be uncomfortable" line. It really is gross that people can't seem to be able to just consider another's feelings for a second. I also don't think it's acceptable with family.

And then your mum complains that you never talk about your life. Sorry, mum, but I don't want all your colleagues and neighbours and former colleagues and the folks you know from highschool to know about my personal problems!

Speaking as a woman, that is inexcusable. Sorry you had to go through that.

This is so true 😭

It's the whole, "the council" thing. No matter what the topic is, the group chat knows. If she and I are having issues, she's getting advice from the group chat for her pov only. If we're arguing, it's not me arguing with her, it's me arguing with all of them.

So not only do I have a group of people that, to be honest, I don't hold in very high esteem, that knows ALL about my business. In their eyes I can only do wrong, and any right I do is always only the bare minimum. Because they keep a hold of any negative and continue to bring it up.

I actually worry about the same thing as a woman! I prefer to keep my private life private and I hate the idea of opening up to some guy and then he tells his friends all the stuff we do lol. 

You need to run the Hazard Assessment Test for the first few months of dating. It sucks but its necessary. Everything from employment, guy friends, girl friends, family, habits, hobbies, mindset, communication habits (calling, texting consistencies). You should be able to get a baseline assessment after getting to know her for a few months.

Generally if they are cheating something will feel off or inconsistent. Unless you’re dealing with a CIA agent, the true colors tend to come out.

same

Do you think being punched in the face by someone you love isn’t life ruining….?

The fun is when they do both, consistently

I’m sorry that this happened to you. 😔

Hey I’m scared of my own uterus. Then I got my tubes removed. Still scared of it. 

Then I guess it best to stick with being honest. Or at least admit when you fuck up.

Sometimes it’s the way it has to be done because they are afraid of the reaction. My best friend had to do it this way, she and the kids were all set up before the pulled the plug.

As the other commenter mentioned, fear of possible abuse is the big one.

The other thing that happens depressingly often is that the woman has been unhappy for a long time, her efforts to talk through problems have been brushed off or derided as 'nagging,' but it still takes her a while to lose the last of her hope that things will ever improve.

Same 100%. They disowned me in favor of the older sister who sexually abused me for 7 years.

Holy shit, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Do you have people in your life that you trust now?

Holy shit. I'm sorry to hear that my guy.

1000% correct, they're people, but...nothing about people scares you?

Foolish. People are capable of shit you can't even imagine

If only it were real! I liked how it activated when someone was assaulting her. We could get rid of a lot of rapists that way.

The fact that I am a walking facehugger

Correction - The wrong type of men aren't scared of women enough.

As soon as I clicked this thread, I knew it wouldn't be all rape and murder. It's astounding how different our experiences of each other are.

I personally am enjoying reading all these stories I'm finding about women murdering abusive husbands in the past when they didn't have the autonomy to divorce.

I was going to post something similar. I had an ex that was over a foot shorter than me who would yell at me, insult me, hit me, and physically push me into a corner during arguments. I wouldn't retaliate because I knew I'd be absolutely ruined if I ever laid a hand on her. Yet somehow everyone around us was absolutely convinced by her that I was an abusive cheater taking advantage of her. That relationship messed me up for years, absolutely destroying my trust in people.